Tuesday, 29 November 2011
iya...well been in paradise for just over a week now an its not bad...Tannoy Twat still gettin on me nerves but i tend to put me hedfones in an ignore it...Fat Frank got the job an is startin today so familiar face n familiar cock...early darts from werk for blowys just as it was in poundland...Fat Sue wiv the smart car has got an interview so god help us...got moved off feminin hi jean yesterday coz sum punter sed i smelt of ale...did me a favor tho coz got put on stock take so ate me body wate in haribo an watched telly wiv free wi fy... today i'm bein trained to do redukshons so happy days...i'll be markin down all me crizzy presents... oh before i go... pissed me pants yesterday there was sum big nob from hed office bord of direktors come in to meet us all coz we are the flagship store watever that means...aint no flag in our shop or a ship... e woz ded posh...says to me all lardy dar lookin at me name badge on me tit... 'erm so Beverly Macca wat kwalities n kwalifikayshons do you bring to Pound Paradise' i said 'Me CUNT n me TWAT...' he nearly had a brown hemmorige on the spot...then he realised wat they were av a look below... laterz...
Friday, 25 November 2011
Thursday, 24 November 2011
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Monday, 21 November 2011
Sunday, 20 November 2011
isnt he garjus...but met up wiv him last nite an he ended up givin me a lift home in his daywoo...woke up this mornin wiv me Leggins intactus an he was back at his digs all tucked up... left me a note on the dash sayin to stay as long as i want an he'll see me in work on Monday!...cud be playin hard to get or a slave to the cock!... I had to cut the wires to the tannoy coz that Barbara Naylor Radford ex Marks n Spencer is on customer servis desk an keeps houndin me wiv her announcements listen -
she is soooo in for a kick in the clout if sheez not careful... right.. off to have me home made communyon... thick sliced white an a bottle of lambrini... it is the weekend still... I'll leave you with the pic of me in the staff room fillin up the Punch... I was a little Twunted at that point...laters...
Thursday, 17 November 2011
anuther wirl wind of a week... all the ecksitement of me new job witch i start tomrw at Pound Paradise been tryin to slim into me uniform with zoomba n diet... bin told there is a selebritee comin to open the store but we dont know who it is yet... hopin for Rusty Lee... talkin of selebritees found these slippers in me overnite bag i woz out at a well nown frends place to see her huzband... keep it to yerself i carnt say who she is but rimes with Pisha Tenrose!...I'll post them back...
well on anuther note... i woz menshoned by the lovely dame edna today on This Morning... I shud get a regular spot there I'm on often enuff... wat I wudn't give to sit next to Phillip everyday... I'm sure he wudn't resist the smell of my Far La!... I'll keep yerz posted about tmrow with pics... laterz...
Monday, 14 November 2011
Friday, 11 November 2011
Thursday, 10 November 2011
Thank you all so much for your following and contributing to the 23000+ hits on this blog/diary. Can I ask you all a big favour... can you please join this blog if you are a regular reader. It will help us get some info together...I'll keep updating you with my boring and uneventful life! xx
Wednesday, 9 November 2011
well well well....herez were i need yer advise... ive bin here at poundland for a good few years now... ive ad me ups n downs ins n outs... but i got this in the post today... its a new store same sort of set up as here but just looks fresh n new... i thort id ask youz lot ferst to get the opinyon before i email Ron Miel back... sounds secksy that name...they did try an scramble me a while ago but i cudnt be arsed at the time... i spoke to Ron Miel tonite and he sounds ded secksy... heez forrin... sounds like the wayter in spayne this year... so do i go to paradise or stay in the land... both Pound....
There are a couple of things i'd miss like fat frank an the early finish blowys... tormentin fat sue with the smart car hidin her pastie at lunch time... and squeekin the dog toys wen lynne wiv the limp walks past so she thinks its her false legs... oh i don't know wat to do... I'm out on a skool nite tryin to deside.. i'm wiv Re Suss Russ one of me gays whooz a nurse... any advise gratefully reseeved...laters...
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
well... yesterday started off ok an got a call from Mike Hunt at hed offise askin if i cud go to our store in Bradford to introduce me Far La and show them how to promote it coz of the record interest in my Far La... it should hav bin today n tmrw stayin in a ded posh hotel called the Travel Lodge... i had planned to take all the shampoos n shower gels an me free shower cap.. i woz so ecksited.... got up early packed me little wheelie bag an got the taxi over.
one thing that stuck in me mind waz Mike Hunt sayin to dress appropriately... so i did sum readin up on Bradford coz i thort it waz abrord somewhere... i found out there is a large asian community so i nipped to Bhaldev Bazaar an had a chat to him.. he woz ded helpful an told me about the kulture... he even lent me mrs Bs dress... got there ok an nipped in the back way to use the loo... got me bits together and came onto the shop floor.... well thay all burst out laffin!... i felt such a fool... i woz only tryin to be respektful... got taxi back... rang Mike an he said when he said dress appropriate he ment not one of me tight tops... wat a dipstik i am... here I am in the full kit... sad i didnt get to see the ded posh Travel Lodge Hotel... maybe one day... laterz...
Sunday, 6 November 2011
Saturday, 5 November 2011
well its that time of year again... bangers rockets n sparklers... i'm off to a bonfire party n in the mood already...3 liters into a box of me finest... and i've just made meself a bonfire cocktail out of Rusty Lee's cocktail book 1988... cant garantee makin it home tonite... but i'll keep yerz all updated as per... play safe guys n gals... laterz.
Cheers all! xx
Thursday, 3 November 2011
in the words of frankie n his four seasons 'oh wat a night...day aktually'... i was up at the crack n up me crack at 6am... i waz determined to av me nancy smellin fresh for Dr Parfinder eez quite fit an new... i dooshed up there the lot... finished off me crem fresh too... i mean fem fresh... gets to the surgery at 8.30 sharp... then I get called in... it waz like Si eed from Eastenders lookin back at me... said i looked very well and as well as me smeer waz due an internal inspekshon...I cud feel me fanny clamp shut... just kept sayin i carnt beleeve how well you look... so off i go to drop me leggins wile he warms his hands on the hand dryer... over he comes... he waz very gentle as he did a Cilla and stepped inside love... then he stops an aks if i waz aware there waz an IUD still inserted an did i now it cudve bin removed after me men o porze... i said shit off i'm still blobbin if yer dont mind... pulled up me tites n me leggins an went to leave.... then he says Mrs Hacker I need to talk to you... I said me names Macca - turns out old iron lung lill next door Mrs Emily Hacker was due for it... i had opened her letter by mistake an wiv me glue ear hadn't heard them shoutin for Emily Hacker... she's fuckin 80 odd... no wonder he thort i looked well an shocked to find me coil..... I've just opened a 5 liter box to get over the shock...laterz...
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
well for a change its not all about me... telly tonite was shite... now don't get me rong I kwite like kersty allysop but that show is shite... as if we could afford to do wat she duz for prezents... here's how it goes -