Well hello there...been a while but i dont like to bombard yer wiv me daily life so i dont av an entree as often...well I'll start wiv me most resent ecksperience...look at the state of me tites...I'm ragin...went out on the lash wiv me gays last nite to selebrayte Moany Maloney gettin kicked off the X Factor...don't get me rong...he's got a grate voice but he ain't go the X Factor...he'll do well regardless now....didn't his nan put on a great spread from Iceland for Gazza Barlow...shame she didn't get to defrost the celebratory Prawn Ring...she'll be gettin a refund on that today...I agress...me tites...end of the night at the Rice Bar we all got up to do Oops Upside Yer Head...next thing I've got a bleedin gash...they still havent fixed that nail in the floor....I ended up in Casualty...not the show....we ad a laff tho coz I always get Lispin Lisa from Lidl to ask for it on the microfone...'Could I requetht Oopth Upthide your head pleathe'.....
Well its nearly Christmas and time for the sweet baby yazu n presents...I was asked to switch the lites on at a local branch of Sue Ryder for me services to charity shops...duz me bum look big in this?...
I was treated to a new look for Christmas thanks to Karen at Malcolm Oliver Hair in Heswall Wirral...she talked me into it sayin how blonds have more fun...well I bit the bullet and went for it...here's me wiv me foils on...I was shittin a love egg incase it went rong...but unlike Sharm El Sharon's salon Tu Tan Cum In Malcolm Oliver is a profeshonal outfit...their certifikaytes are real...not ritten in Ejipshon like Sharons...and here is the finished product...
I have to confess i do like it...as do all me mates...only thing is it's really made the Katherine Jenkins situashon worse...me fone was ringin off the hook when the Wheeltappers n Shunters variety show was on telly...all thinkin I was on...an as for havin more fun...I've been taken up the Wong Wei more times than ever since I went blond.......I'm sick of chinese buffays now...
As yer know I've bin doin me raydio stint on 7waves 92.1FM with the lovely Adam Siddorn...it was a daytime slot...sadly he has decided to go on to pashtures new wiv a nite time show...an he's taken me wiv him...so choon in on a Wednesdee nite between 8-11pm you can listen online at www.7waves.co.uk too.......if yer wonderin why I'm dressed like that I was in on his last day...it was a sad affair....but all forgotten after a few Lambrinis...here's me on the first night time show in me Jarmees at the stewdio....Good Luck to Adam...
Well tradgedy struck Casa Macca last week...I was hit with Nora's Virus...terrible...I didnt think I'd pull thru...I dropped about 2lbs in 4 days...I was like Tor Beckham...me youniform was hangin off me...thank you to all those who sent me get well messiges...here's a rare pickture from Bevs Boodwar...
Wen yer have a NDE near deth experience it makes yer appreshiate wat yerv got...I'll never moan again...talkin of never moanin again...I was ragin last week when I was offered a placement at Gourmet Coffee in Liverpool...I was head hunted coz of me customer service skills...here's me at me interview with Andy...
I was charmin...he was sent...yer can see it from his look...i always belieev in touchin folk too...it forms a bond...all was goin ded well till I coughed an me love egg shot out like a bleedin Bangkok Bird's ping pong ball....I don't think he noticed...I fell to the floor pretendin to hav lost me earring...
I recovered the situashon by showin him my T W A T kwalifikayshon Targets Within All Trading stores...he was well Impressed...his eyes lit up and he nearly choked on a cappacheeno...I didn't need to show him my Commercial Understanding National Targets after that...I started off havin to use the Coffee mashine which was OK...but when I had to dress the coffee it all went wrong...I had the whooshy cream mashine the rong way round an got a wad of the boys cream all over me face...I tried to hide it...
Next up was makin frothy milk for the cheenos....not great either...i got it all over me size 6 youniform (I like me clothes baggy)....I was gettin all hot n bothered....
i was sweatin like Christopher Maloneys nan as she opens her phone bill so I took to the chillers to cool me Nancy...it was bliss...
I had no credit left on me fone so I tried to use theres while it was quiet...it was crap...couldn't get a signal an it kept spewin out bits of paper...
It gets worse....I'm avin five minits break catchin up on Decembers Lifestyle Monthly magazeen an some fella starts tuttin n huffin....goin on about only avin a hour for his lunch break...i switched off an let him talk to the hand.....some peeple are so rude....
I think Andy an Dean could see I was gettin a bit stressed...so they told me to take a break after clearin up the tables....I don't think so....I was egzorsted...I found a nice comfy sofa to put me cankles up.....arnt the jenral public vile....thay begrudge yer a break...look at the kipper on these fellas.......
I ended up escapin to the bogs to get away from it all......even that wasn't saycred....not bin in there five minits an the paps were on me like rash....werd had spread I was workin there....
The boyz said i shud av some time off mixin wiv the customers....i was at the end of me tether...so I was put on domestic dewties...aka bog cleanin...I could feel meself goin faint...
I managed a few sweeps of the mop then staggered over to the cownter before keelin over....I'd done 20 minits work wivout a break wat did they expect?? Dean was on hand to revive me wiv a wiff of Lambrini.....
It was very trormatic....I regained conshusness for a little bit....then they announced it was openin time.......................................that was too much.....................
Yer never know...thay mite ask me back during the busy days over christmas period.....but one good thing came out of it....thay asked me to do a night with Beverly Macca in February...so every clowd has a silver linin.........so get 22nd Feb 2013 in yer diarys....here's the details....
For more details on the evening or about Gourmet Coffee visit their page -
Don't forget the bumper 88 page December edition of Lifestyle Monthly is out now Bev's bits on page 58
Some great news on Katy Holmes trust...Russell Watson has come onboard as a patron and Jeff Banks is to join Dave Holmes doing the big bike ride next year!...**BREAKING** Catch Paula and Dave Holmes on BBC Breakfast at 07.40am Monday 10th December talking about brain tumour research......don't forget to visit the website for more details....
Right....I'm sinin off for now! Lotsa love...
Bev xxxx
