22nd March 2011

dunno if yer allowed to sell stuff on here. but fownd this corkskrew and cant get the fucker to werk proplee. tenner and its yours.

23rd March 2011

im ded eksited abowt me new motor. mike the mekanic is doin me a cheap cut and shut. eez got me a p reg corsa and a t reg punto. e rekons i can av me Cunto by saturday. thats gotta be werth a blowy.

24th March 2011

got meself a new pair of shoos. not jimmys i cudnt afford them. got these in the market.

24th March 2011

was just abowt to leeve for werk and lozza kelly just sed kerry katona is on. wish i woz like kerry a reel rowl model. its amayzin how she copes jugglin kids wiv coke and all them fellas. ill av to go in later now so i can watch it. carnt tape it coz i aint payed me sky bill.

25th March 2011

is gowin for a smeer. the luvely dr rogan josh peerin up me hoop. he smell garjus just like raj from the taj who i gave a blowy to for a bolti. i luv them forin blokes. just ad me shower. popped sum of me fave perfyume up me nancy. stung like a bastard but werth it if he bites. mite ask him to take a foto for me facebook mates. laters. if e asks me if its ok to go ahead i feel like i shud say - in the werds of cilla black - step inside love.

just back now.

ad me smeer woz a bit trormatik so taken the rest of the day off. lynne wernt appy. bin shoppin down the preesinkt got meself a new bag. ive ritten to coleen nowlan to see if she wonts me on as a loose wuman. some say that abowt me all the time so yer never now. just got a 3 litre dimond white to take to the park. laters

 

26th March 2011

i fukin ate them stupid status things on facebook. heres one from today -

It's national book week. The rules are, grab the closest book to you, turn to page 56, post the 5th sentence as your status. Don't mention the title. Copy the rules as part of your status.

i didnt ave a book so i picked up the closest thing -  maureen jones aged 91 beloved wife to philip. mum of peter will be sadly missed.

27th March 2011

who the fuk is alan titsmarsh. wot a borin prik he is. hes askin for tips on how to keep the flys off yer food.... simples...take fukin bev owt wiv yer thatll keep the flys off yer kebab nob ed.

28th March 2011

just done a big shop for me tea.

29th March 2011

well its all off wiv me and twig. i woz dooin a bit of charitee werk for the bells porlsy sosi itee and he kopd me. i adnt seen pete for a wile and e woz so tuched by me powem e did us up the rongun out back of the fethers. well twig popped out for a fag and saw us. im not arsed reely coz im gonna start internet datin tooday. ill keep yerz powsted.

30th March 2011

i will never now how fat sue gets in her smart car