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Hiya...well me weekend started off so well...I'd saved up to put me mershon on for a treat...even ran a bath...waxed me nancy the lot...i'd used all the cheese out me ped egg too so I even had a scrape at me hard skin...i felt like a millyon dollers...i deesided to nip over to Liverpool for a shop...the lekky was out at Primarni so the security tags wernt workin...i got the train over coz I lost the drivers door off me Cunto (Corsa/Punto) the other day...didn't notice till I got home coz me muzik woz on lowd...Glee...anyways...managed to ride free coz Terry the ticket was on duty...got there in one peece...but i woz berstin to go the loo...nearest one was opposite the station at the Empire theatre near Lime Street...wizzed in to use the loo....it woz heavin....saw that Liz Mclaren from Atomic Kitten...she was hummin that song 'You can lick me hole again'....no change there....saw me lovely fella Pete Price...dressed as a laydee full make up the lot....no change there...anyways...I gets into the kewbikle an I hears the door open....big lowd fart from whoever it woz...an an overpowerin smell of Charlie (the perfume, not the class A)....Just about to offload some caterin...me cankles killin I kicks off me Timmy Shoos...not two minits later a hand comes under the kewbickle....normally there's a tenner in the hand....nothin....just a few Elizabeth Duke sovrins on the fingers...next thing woooooosh....one of me Timmys had gone....I raced out the kewbickle...nothin....then I cud hear 'I'm in the mood for dancin...romancin'......turns a corner an a bold as brass there she is......................
Coleen Nolan...smilin for fotografers holdin me Timmy Shoo.....I tried to get close but her sekurity were avin non of it....I'm screamin at her....not a flinch....turns out they'd lost Sinderellas shoe for the promoshon pics....Nock Off Nolan had bin sent to find a replacement....yer can take the girl outta Blackpool but yer can't take Blackpool outta the gerl.....I found the Shoo later at the back of the theatre....little note inside read - '1 - 0 Bevlar....keep yer hands off my Ray'..........Lesson learned.....i av to say she did look bloody garjus.....for her age!............ 1 - 1 Coleen!..................
Make sure you get to the Empire Theatre and see a crackin panto this year...great cast
Book tickets now here's the link
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she is a robbing get
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