As the wonderful and great Dame Norma Of The Desmond Once Sang
'I'll be back where I was born to be'
That was on the London to Youston for another adventure and important meeting. It all started on the Sunday afternoon Pedallo from Liverpool Lime Street. I had to get away for a couple of days as the court case over me and his holiness the Lord Mayor was about to start. Painful memories of a rough ride in the Princesses Pretty Box with his holiness rippin at me Christmas leggins....
Anyway, I agress as the posh people say...On a lighter note I boarded the train...had a little dream seekwence that Olly Murs comes runnin down the platform askin for me to get off and marry him....instead it was a platform attendant wavin an empty bottle of lambrini at me I'd left in the lounge...Yes, I was in the premium cabin....I was soon into another bottle, I was offered a light snack....I declined, I just managed a finger on the 17.47.....all was good until Stafford when what turned out to be an asian, male Adele tribute act got on and sat opposite me...I'm guessing he was an Adele tribute as all I got for the next hour was 'Hello, can you hear me' as he kept losing his signal.
As always I had to take me head gay down with me, he does some translayshon for me as the cockernees can't always understand me. Got to Youston and that's where everyone suddenly appears miserable an in a rush.... I sat on the tube and wanted to dance through the train singing Pharrell William's Happy.... Look at the gobs on them all.....
I had to be up early the next morning coz the lovely Lorraine Kelly had said to pop by and say hello. Had a good night's kip at the Waterloo Travelodge....I checked me bed and shower to make sure Lenny Henry was hiding... You never know...I've seen the commercials...glad to say he wasn't.
So me alarm went off at cock o clock...fabreezed me tites and leggins and off we went. I was like Norma Desmond as she arrives back in the movie studio as I looked up at the ITV sign and building....I was back where I was born to be...... The signs were there.....
I was ushered by security to round the back of Lorraine's gaff, I was tryin her back door but it was locked tight. Head gay went around the front while I was bangin hell out of her window....I'm sure I saw her hiding behind the sofa, probably owes council tax...her windows were filthy...
I was stopped by the floor manager who was havin none of it, next minute I'm outside Coleen Nolan's dressing room, I knew it was her coz I could smell the bensons and she was whistling I'm in the mood for dancing... AGAIN. Then bold as brass head gay comes out of the studio all smiles and with a picture of him and Lorraine! I was fewmin!
Then to top it all he's only been chattin to Ruth Langsford! Apparently he asked her if she'd have a picture with me but she refused on the grounds that she's not happy about my on line flirting with her hubby! He wishes.... Here they are...
He did manage to get us front row seats for Loose Women, or Baggy Birds depending on who is on the panel that day! We went to the theatre that night to see Billy Elliott....crackin show... sweet baby yazu....I was second row and could I see the older Billy's Nutcracker in the second half....you wouldn't want that on yer lip as a wart I'm tellin yer!
Next day was the important meeting. Edible Erron the garjus man behind the workings of GMB had invited me to sit in the gallery. It's like the star ship enterprise, blows me away every time. He's garjus too! I could imagine him counting me down in the bedroom! Here's his tool -
Well a trip to ITV wouldn't be the same without popping up to see Mr and Mrs Daytime. Holly and Phil. Always made welcome there thanks to the lovely Izzy and Tim. Look who gegged in on the photo....
Had a quick pick at Phil Vickery's meat and headed off to So Ho. Meeting was with the lovely peeps at Keith Bishop Associates. I was interviewed by what were like Charlie's Angels, or more like Keith's Kittens! We had a good old laugh, and happy to say I'll be working with them. So exciting times ahead. Check out their website for more details.
Hope you've had a great Easter. I'm off to force Percy Pig down me mouth!
Love and Kisses
Bev
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