It's beginnin to look a lot like Christmas! Well it was down in London last week. I was invited back for more community service to film three Christmas specials of 'Crafty Beggars In The House' with the lovely Wendy Turner Webster & Julie Peasgood.
After all the excitement at ITV and the #Knickergate scandal it was nice to enter suburbia. I was in Richmond, home of the famous park with deer. Unlike Birkenhead Park home of 'Fear'....I'd taken a call from Wendy to say she'd meet me at Richmond station. I asked what car to look out for, she said 'don't worry you'll hear me coming' something I'd heard before via rumours but that was them confirmed I guess #noisysex - who am I to judge. Well she wasn't wrong, I'd only been there 5 minutes when I heard an almighty bang, surely ISIS haven't hit Richmond! Nope it was the car backfiring as it entered the car park. It was like an episode of 'Stars In Their Eyes' 'Tonight Matthew I'm gonna be Wendy Turner Webster' as she appeared from within the smoke. Times were hard since the end of Pet Rescue, she was drivin what she called a 'Clitaurus' a cut n shut Gary got done for her, a Renault Clio/Ford Taurus. Off we went to Turner Webster Towers. Good job I had me headscarf and dark glasses on.....I had a reputation to think off, road rage wasn't the word. She takes no prisoners does Wendy on the road. As we pulled into the gated entrance (gated to keep the riff raff in me thinks) Wendy says 'ring the bell, Gary's in' I'd forgotten about the bell. I gave it a sharp press....
Gary answered the door in a pair of fluffy mules and a pink flowered house coat. 'Dhaaaaaaling, in the words of Cilla step inside love'..... I looked at Wendy. 'Don't ask, he's doin a play about someone called Backdoor Billy or something, it's for his part' I thought yeah, what evs Wendy. A far cry from the tough guy I remember in Minder. I was shown up to me bedroom, it was lovely. I recognised the curtains from a Travelodge, apparently Gary's last job put him up there. 'Make yourself at home said Wendy, I'll put the kettle on'. I was searchin for some coat hangers. Fuck my old boots, I opened the wardrobe and this is what faced me.....
About 3500 boxes of flake bars....I tried to shut the wardrobe quickly but Gary appeared again....he said 'don't ask'....and left the room singing 'I could be so good for you....'
Next stop was the set for the Christmas shows, Julie was already there. She greeted me like a long lost.....viewer. 'Hello, welcome back. Have you ever considered a cruise?' Wendy gave her a slap, she was in Cruise TV mode. Wendy said 'She's off her tits at the mo due to how busy she is' It was great to see them both. Here's the set all ready for filming.
It was an early start the next day, I was fightin with me false eyelashes which were doin me head in. Finally got them on....felt odd being dressed as mother Christmas in October, then I thought of Gary the night before. Suddenly it didn't seem so odd. Great to see Wonderful Wayne as he's known. He can turn his hand to anything, knows how to treat his wood too! He started to talk about his power tool to me which got me excited, but when he moved on to butterfly joints I was trying to self harm with some hot mullered wine. Got a nice pic of him though....he looks thrilled....Mrs Dooer wasn't so happy! She was busy makin a teapot out of a bit of 2 be 2 MDF.
Some lovely people coming and going all day, someone makin handbags out of incontinence pants, I made a Christmas wreath out of a Prawn Ring. One lovely laydee made a Christmas table display from her late husbands artificial leg. Such talent. During the break me an the girls got on to the subject we love most...........men....we had a discussion about how size really does matter, Julie being quite animated in this pic!
Then before you knew it, it was a wrap.... I had to rush to the station to catch the Virgin Pedallo back to Liverpool. I'd drunk that much Mullered wine I didn't know if I was in New Cross, New Delhi or New Jersey! Perfect end to a perfect weekend. I'll let you know when the Christmas specials are going to be aired. In the meantime remember to follow @craftybeggarsTV @juliePeasgood @turnerwebster
See youz Soon
Bev
XX
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