Yer 'Shoos' yer loose...
How do!...well firstly a massive thank you for all yer support an readin me borin mundayne life her on me diary...we wizzed thru the 80000 mark this week...now those who are regulars know my shoos are me life...Timmy Shoos that is...I will never be able to afford the real Jimmy Choo's so Pat Pong Pete keeps me in copies...well it would appear that via the soshal meedia sites more an more people know about me shoos...Slebritys even...now I've ad a few insidenses resentlee where some Slebs have had the front to acktually nick me shoos...Egzibit A -
A certain Coleen Nolan...if you don't remember the story I nipped into the Empire theatre for a wee, sat in me kewbikle and kicked off me Timmy...next minute I hear someone come in an trumpin to the choon of 'I'm in the mood for dancin'...never gave it a thort till a hand came under me kewbikle full of Elizabeth Duke soverigns an nicked me shoo...I wizzed out an there she was bold as brass posin for publicity shots for her panto Cinderella...seems they lost the glass slipper...oh it doesn't stop there...Egzibit B -
Thoze of you familiar with Radio City in Liverpool mite recognize these 2...no it's not a Jinger Brad Pitt n Baby Bunton Spice...it's Juicy Jay Hind n Claire Simmo...part of the breakfast possy...I was avin a fish pedicure in Cheshire Oaks lately an they thort it funny to nab me shoo for a foto shoot...why? Hav they never seen a 8' stiletto in a size 14 extra wide fit? Egzibit C -
You mite recognise this bewtiful laydee...sheez scotch an is a voice coach on TV...Yvie Burnett...voice of an angel mouth like a sewer! She found them an was heard sayin *scotch acksent* 'Ach, wha tha f*ck och these wee bastards* Her lovely husband Gordon gave them back in the end...he had stretched them a bit tho.... Egzibit D -
Two werds...Bang Tidy!...can you beleev that Keith Lemon was the latest one to take a shine to me Timmys...he was just ded blaytent...pushed me down the stairs at Waterstones an while I'm bein helped to me feet by the jesus sandle wearin assistant he nips away an sayz he wants to do a sex wee in it.....So...what is the attrackshon to me Shoos? is it like a secksual sent that drives them all mad?...wonder who will be next...
Now yerz know I don't do anythin politycal...but i waz ded ded disappointed about the vote this week to say no to laydee bishops...i was gonna take a career brake from Pound Paradise an av a bit of relijus refleckshon an lots of free wine n bread...ah well...it's the cherches loss...take care all me lovely Bevettes...Be sure to choon in to me radio bits and pick up yer Lifestyle Magazine for me monthly column...Oh...and don't forget me JustGiving page for the wonderful Katy Holmes trust!... xxxx
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