Ello garjus folks...long time no entree in me diary...I've bin rushed off me cankles...wat with shifts at Pound Paradise...intimasees wiv gentleman callers, column ritin for Lifestyle monthly mag an of course me radio...just got in now...i do a weekly slot about Soap news and Entertaynment with Adam Siddorn on 92.1FM or live online at www.7waves.co.uk choon in on Fridees between 1-2pm...they always say its like a bomb site when I've bin in...today me intimayte wear was a bit damp...so I used them teknikal thingies to hang it off an dry...great show today...
Little treat for me tea tonite...bit of tripe...i've bin ecksperimentin lately...love it in vinegar...also bin tryin fresh seafood too rather than me usual prawn rings...found these...
thay look like them witchety grubs thay eat on that Celebrity Jungle...i hate the thort of things poppin lickwid in me mouth...well...some things...but these are like king prawns...love them and good on me diet too...tryin to drop a dress size for crimbo...get down to a size 4!...gonna do me Tighter Life diet too....
Had a little scare resently...thort I'd lost me Peppa Pig...i was devastayted...looked everywhere...then I found her hangin out of me Klunge...good job she didn't fall in...me Klunge is powerful...got meself a new Peppa Pig doovay set too as a little treat...love me Peppa...
tret meself to a bit of a tutch up too lately...no not that sort of tutch up...me hair...I've ditched Sharm El Sharon's salon Tu Tan Cum In...she's OK for a spray tan but shite wiv hair...still rumers her kwalifikayshons are fakes...found a lovely salon called Malcolm Oliver Hair...its not far from home on the Wirral...lovely Karen sorted me out wiv a rite posh barnet...she even put a Ga Ga Bow in it too...had a bit of a problem at the back wash...i'd ad a few brinis...so sue me...she wasn't impressed...she left me under the dryer for about 4hrs...i think she wanted me out the way...me hed was smokin wen I came out...
I was ded impressed wiv the finished product tho...eat yer hart out Ga Ga...little sekrit...I'm thinkin of goin blonde...Karen has given me a consa, konsel, conselt... talkin to about it... I think I'm gonna do it... me Twitter family n Facebook family are all for it....watch this space...here's the finished bow.... thank you Karen...
ded posh in there...i was treated to a basket of pork scratchins an sum French wine...no fizz in it...not quite Lambrini but I was polite an drank the 4 bottles anyway...i'm good like that...washed it down with me Lambrini I'd tooked wiv me...
Lovely family kristenin resently...great day...it was at the rugby club...sweet baby yazu the thys on them rugby blokes...I couldn't keep me eye on the buffay...ad a few try it on...i do konfess to havin a little bit too much to drink...at one point I was tryin to kop off with Elmo...I just thort it was some hairy bloke wiv a thyroyd problem lookin at his bulgin eyes...i woz gonna offer him some of me Thyroxeen tablets...I have a slite thyrood problem too...I was taken home at that point....
Well I've seen the koka kola lorry on telly so as it says Holidays are comin...dunno why thay call it holidays...its christmas...i went to a local cristmas tree lite up...was hopin for some free food an a few bevvies...no such luck...but i managed to wangle me way into the VIP tent by speekin Welsh n singin (they just said go straight thru Ms Jenkins, Katherine) then in front of me was a vision in red....Emma Baby Spiced Bunton...I woz amazed...she was with a Jinger Brad Pitt lookalike...I was sent...thay even nabbed me Timmy Shoo for a foto...was gonna ask her to sing but she sounded a bit hoarse as it woz...no sign of the other spices...but I saw a picture of Mel scary B spice resently..that bleedin Jenny Craig hasnt bin kind to her...look she's let herself go... Scary she is
I met anuther lovely laydee at the cristmas do...shes a great singer and trains peoples voices too...she was on telly programmes with singers like The Voice an others...she was ded nice...sheez scotch tho...cudnt understand much of wat she said but her husband was Inglish...he did some translaytin for me...i think he was attracted by the smell of me Far La...Yvie had one eye on the Vol O Vonts n one eye on me and her fella...lots of wimin are like that...she looked garjus close up...she's shoe mad so asked if she could hav a try of me Timmy Shoos...here she is...Thank you Yvie Burnett for bein ded nice to me...is that number at the end of your fellas mobile number a 6 or a 8?....couldnt read his ritin...
Right...that's youz lot up to date wiv me life so far...karnt beleev this diary is not far off 80000...thanks guys...keep in tutch...remember I'm on Twitter an Facebook...lotsa love...it's friday nite so I'm off for a few bevvies with me gays...XXXX
**UPDATE**
Thanks to the lovely @lookatyouvideo for this
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