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Monday, 22 October 2012

Like a slimmer Kate Moss...

 
Hiya...how yerz doin?...bizzy old week this week an worst thing was me Cunto was out of akshon...(Corsa/Punto cut and shut)...left it with Mike and the Mechanic to sort out...i've had to use public transport witch has bin an eye opener...i did av a trip down memree layne this week wen I got on a duble decker...took me back to me yooth...I had to go upstairs...and for a moment I was taken back...the sounds, the smells...but somethin was missin...then I realised it was Stephen Millingtons had down me...bra...you thort I woz gonna say nickers didn't you!!! Nah...that was Trevor Jones territory...happy days...here's the pic from top deck of the bus...managed a few shifts at Pound Paradise...our Xmas catalog is out already...same ald tat...I even spotted me dream kitchen in Tescos...puttin it on me Christmas list...
highlite of me week was me invite to Liverpool Fashon week by Ms Manda Moss...me boss from Lifestyle magazine...well as soon as I walked in to the Hilton Hotel i felt like I'd arrived...there facin me was the reason for livin...Lambrini...
I could see people lookin and wisperin about me...coz of me glue ear I can lip read...some saying 'it's Katherine Jenkins' others sayin 'hasn't Kate Moss lost wayt'...I'm used to it now I don't let it bother me...as we went thru to the show area I was greeted by Mandas husband who said somethin like 'you look even flatter in real life' me Gay wound me up an said he said 'fatter' as if!...then like Norma Dezmond I was back up were I belongd...amongst the bewtiful peeple an with the spotlight on me...wasn't long before peeple were pointin coz they had copies of Lifestyle Magazine on there seats an they was reeding me column...then I got the call...'come back stage'...well as soon as i went thru the doors I knew how Samantha Brick (silent P) felt...a lot of the models took one look at me an there backs were up...who can blame them...the male models were round me like flies...mainly to try me Timmy Shoos on!...funny that...but prob an excuse to get close to a real woman...one thing that did fasinayte me was the woman who did tricks with her hoop...not the sort of tricks I do with mine but eye openin all the same...quite a few fellas couldn't take their eyes off her hoop...very talented...
Well there I am goin thru me routine in me head...goin back to me modellin days for Dirty Bob Smith at the Caravan park in Talaker...an I can hear some screachin voice...Beverly Macca, Bev, Bev....next thing I look round an theres a rather rotund lookin Abbey Clancey...she's piled it on...I nearly didn't recognise her...she wanted her pickture taken with me...I couldn't say no...prob showed her up a bit bein next to me...she looks huge compared to me...I could smell sossige rolls...say no more...I'm on the right incase you wondered...
 I had to stuff a pastie in her mouth to stop her chattin....about herself....I was due on stage any minute for my own show...the 3Ls....I was promotin the Macca Mantra....Leggins, Lycra n Lambrini....it was a struggle at first gettin past the larger models on the catwalk, but I was up...I could feel the lights on me Le J'aundice self tan...the crowds went wild...I used the LFW bag as an acksessory for me Lambrini bottle...
Then I was off up the side bit to flash me nancy at the rest of the room...I could here people shouting...but with me glue ear I couldn't hear proplee...one guy shouted 'Singer'...I shouted no, not tonight...model...me gay said he shouted 'Minger' he is so funny...as if...
Then it was time for me close up...PP posh powt...i did it with attichewd...I could hear folk sayin how if they hadn't smelt me Far La they would have thought it was Kate Moss before slimmin world...
And as quickly as me nite had come it was over...I think I'm in 'Have a rest' magazine next week...I'll keep yer posted...talkin of magazines don't forget to pick up your copy of Lifestyle Monthly or read it online...full of wonderful features and my own column...here's the link...


And a big Thank you to NG Photography for my catwalk pics


 

Friday, 12 October 2012

Re live An Evening With Beverly Macca...

Well wether you were there or not...you can now be a part of An Evening With Beverly Macca and help Katy Holmes trust along the way... GOSH productions have made a DVD of the evening for you to share and £5 of all sales goes directly to Katy Holmes trust...Check out the lovely venue at Gusto...see the lovely Bevettes arriving...see Bev arrive on her Bevmobile to Agadoo...hear the banter share the laughs...and get a private reading of 50 Shades of Paradise all on one DVD...what are you waiting for...here's a promo, details of how to purchase appear at the end...enjoy! XXXX

Don't forget the link to Katy holmes trust too

Monday, 8 October 2012

An Evening With Beverly Macca...



As the song went...'Oh what a night'...An Evening With Beverly Macca at Gusto Heswall, 4th October 2012...After being invited to join Team Katy as Ambassador of Laughter a few months ago we then went on to organise a charity evening to raise both funds and awareness...Here is me chief gay Greg who helped me so much in organising the event and did an amazing job as compere...the picture is our sleeping angel Katy Holmes...
The evening kicked off with folk having a welcome drink and making their way to the beautiful dining area...The ambulance at Gusto is second to none...food and staff were the talk of the evening too...I arrived to me favrit choon Agadoo on me Bevmobile...
I was told off for drinkin n drivin...it was a 'Bevlar' a cocktail made by the lovely Jonathan on the bar...they went down a storm...I took out the Olive oil n bread table on me rounds...The evening was sponsored by Pound Paradise so I had to promote some of there produkts...
you can see me Klunge, Far La and Rustie Lee cassette...oh an me Lambrini...here's me with Laura Jane and Alan who helped make the night the success it was...thanks guys...
A few faces there I recognised...one was arrestin officer Gina Kirkham pictured here...she said she forgave me witch was nice...
There was a real cross seckshon of gests...the lovely recently promoted MP Esther Mcvey was there with her lovely dad...
Our guests of honour were Team Katy...Paula and Dave Holmes with the wonderful team...
I had to strut me stuff n do a turn to keep em all happy...thay loved me 50 Shades of Paradise...
We had a full house too...not a table to be had...here is the lovely venue...Gusto Heswall...
Many of me lovely Bevettes were there an had a good night...too many to name but here's a few...
And this cheeky monkey Mr Case...case by name an nature...grabbed me Klunge...and more...
That was it in a nutshell...we had some amazing prizes including return tickets to New York, Personal tour of Coronation Street, Spa days, LFC tours...and many more...all went to raise much needed cash for Katy Holmes Trust and help research into paediatric brain tumours...Big thank you to all who came and supported the event...here's to the next Evening With Bev...Big hugs...here is the link to Katy Holmes Trust website...take a moment to go and look at all the good work being done... XXXX