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Sunday 29 September 2013

Just a quickie...

well I'll start by showin yer the clip of me on Big Brother's Bit on the Side....wat a laff that was....they got us twunted then ushered us into the stewdio....I'll be on the next series....that's wat the lovely Stephen said anyway......I've been rushed off me cankles gettin ready for the next big event... An Evening With Beverly Macca 'Prawn Ring N Bling' preps going ded well....it's gonna be a nite to remember with our fab Dancefloor Dreams 80's disco after I've dun me bit.....hoping to raise more for www.katyholmestrust.co.uk I'll let you know how it goes....on a serious note it's all off with me N Kevin Kawasaki..............I know what yer all thinkin....he's bin good to me.....me nite in shinin armour for the Pound Paradise awards......but he's gone below the sanitary belt......Here's what I had to drive past today..............
Can I put my side akross.....I do NOT have 8 nipples......coz of me colouring I suffer from skin tags....and that is exactly what they are.....SKIN TAGS not Nipples....he's a nob.....and I can tell you now his nickname was 2 strokes Kev......so I'm offishally back on the market.....if yer'v got any nice mates for me let me know..........I always thort he was a bit odd.....I was only ever allowed to kiss his helmet.......He was like Ed Millerband with the longest cold in histree....he had the longest bowt of coldsores ever...............Right....time for me bed.....I'll give yerz a more in depth entree soon.....Oh before I sine off......can we chat about that Downtown Abbey....
Last week I'd said it was like House Of Elliott without the sewing......this week it's more Acorn Antiques without the Macaroons.........and the filth...... yerv got Hairy Mary wantin to be shown the lower quarters....and don't get me started on Master Bates...........I'm just waitin for Miss Babs or Miss Berta to show up.............Rite....na nite all....catch yerz soon....


Lotsa Love 
Bev
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Pee Ess
Can't go without talking about X Factor....Louis has got the boys....funny that....he's not been able to stand up for the last 2 shows....huge lob on....I can't believe he got rid of the Spanish hung HallyHandro.....my hart is pinin forhim already......rite....I'm off.....

Monday 16 September 2013

My bit on the side...

Well no sooner had I got meself dry, fabreezed me leggins and rinsed me tites I woz back on the Virgin Pedallo back down to London...Even the fat controller on the train called me by me name...I got some intilekthuwal reading material to read on the way down and off I went.....Where was I going you ask?? Oh I'd had a phone or 'Forrn' call from the lovely Stephen at Channel 5 asking me to come on Big Brother's after show Bit On The Side....so off I went....even got a meal an a drink....I went for the helthy opshon Salid.....with fish....i was enjoyin it till i found a ginger hair in it..........my money was on Richard Branstons.....anyways I agress as the posh say......I found meself at a luxury hotel called Borehamwood Stewdio way Travelodge.....everythin was komplimentree agen....even the ironin board....the area was a bit dodgy tho....the kids were playin Tick with mashetees...... I took no chances that night.....
Well after gettin settled into me dizabled room......dunno why they always give them to me.....it was time to go.....the taxi came on time and Raj was a lovely chatty man.....then it appeared....the words 'Elstree Studios'.....I felt like Norma Desmond returning to the lot at Paramount.....we woz whisked thru to the White House were they plied me wiv cheap plonk n krisps.....Then we woz ushered thru....the BBBOTS studio......It was all so fast payced.....before I knew it the theem choon started and the lovely Emma was off.....we had Sue Pollard, Chris Biggins and Chelsea Lately on the panel.....it wasn't long before I had Emmas mic in me face....
 
Before yer could say 'Prawn Ring' we were out of there and back to the lugzurius Travelodge...had a few bevvies and a take away.....then the alarm was going off.....I looked to the side of the bed and this is what greeted me....me tung was stuck to the roof of me mouth.....
It had been worth it tho.....then I had to get back to Ewston to get the Virgin Pedallo home.....and that was that.....I woz plied again wiv drinks.....but who was I to komplayn......
Right....enuff of me wafflin on.....I'm watchin This Morning right now and there is a campayn goin on to get Macca on the Map in the Albert Dock Liverpool for the This Morning 25th Anniversary on 3rd October....presenters past n present will get together along with the weather map.....there's no Jim to fix it for me so if you want to help go and tweet @itvthismorning and tell them you'd like to see #maccaonthemap....

Laterz lovely peeps
Bev
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Near knocked me out...

Well Sunday 8th September.....a day off work.....did I sit wiv me cankles up pickin on me prawn ring watchin the Stenders omneebus??? Nope....I was up in Preston havin a home made colonic irrigayshon curtesee of It's A Knockout!!!! All for a good cause tho...Yep, the wonderful Team Katy headed up by Paula & Dave Holmes had organised the event to raise money for the Katy Holmes trust....and there was no show without Punch!!! Great day, even got to meet a couple of TOWIE birds and the Nelson boyz.....garjus.....they'll be on yer box soon....if yer lucky....here's me comin thru the hoop of horror..... 
It was like a re birthin experience...only me berth mum Vanessa wasn't at the other end....here's me with my team 'TeamTastic'.... 
Oh....and the lovely and very secksy Clarke Carlsile was there too....he couldn't keep his hands of me....what man can't resist the whiff of my natural jewse plus my Far La....He's the wonderful patron of the Katy Holmes Trust....A joy to meet.... 
A great day with great people too...remember you too can help support the Katy Holmes Trust - maybe you want to arrange an event then take a look at the website below....
Laterz
Bev
xxxx