Happy Easter...

Sweet baby yazu...I karnt beleev its that time agen...hot cross buns n choklit...oh an we mustent forget wat Easter is really abowt...The Easter Bunny Rabbit...my Ruby Rabbit wishes you all  a peesful time...not gonna do a egg hunt here like last year.....I woz mortified wen the kids came down from upstairs with me bleedin Ann Summers love eggs mixed in with a bag of cadbrees creem eggs.....one of the poor feckers broke his tooth tryin to bite into the bugger....More new products arrived at Pound Paradise this week....we've had the disabled Barbie...the Diabetic Barbie an even Bakterial Vaginosis Barbie.....well now there's Birkenhead Barbie...Knocked up n Knackered....its ment to be edukayshonal to show kids how tuff it is gettin a six pack home when yerv got 3 kids in the trolley.....i hope it gets the messige out there....

Now don't get me rong...I'm ded happy at Pound Paradise...i am the orijinal Pound Girl like the Bond Girl....but I saw an advert for a estayte ajunts near me....it waz like yoof ecksperience....spend a day....so I did....don't tutch the phones thay said....but i wanted to show a bit of innishitiv.....so I answered it.....wat wiv me dixlexia an glue ear I missed out a zero an sold sum big posh house for £50.000 insted of £500.000 - bargayn for them but not for the estayte ajunt....needless to say the boss had me out kwicker than wink.....hey ho....onwards n upwards as thay say..........that moment the mistayke was discovered by Sonya the boss was kaptchured on fillum......

On a upbeet note me gays clubbed together to buy me a number playte for me new Bevmobile....here it is....I feel like Beeyonsay cruisin the club sirkit wiv that on.....dontcha wish yer gerlfrend woz hot like me 'DONTCHA'..........................

Right....i'm off to hav a tradishonal Easter brekfast.....sozzige butty n a lambrini....after all it is a selebrayshon of the sweet baby yazus Easter too.....wonder if thay had Kadbrees when he was a likkle boy.....Catch yerz later.....have a grate Easter.....

Love Bev xxxx

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Read all about it....

Sweet baby yazu....read all about it as thay say in the echo....me fone hasnt stopped ringin this week since me picktchur appeared in the local paper...ive bin contacted by a look alike agensee to do Katherine Jenkins full time....I turned them down....thats me n the lovely Michelle from Bell mobility...I'm lovin me new wheels...i'm avin them pimped up.....I'll keep yerz posted...the downside to me pic in the paper is the attenshon from the paps....I only went out to get me Have A Rest magazeen yesterday an look......in the privasee of me own back passage....

A likkle tip from Bev...wen yerv ad a few bevvies an yer lekky has gone make sure you use a candle...or a torch...I came in last nite...pitch black...no lekky tryin to find me slippers...woke up this mornin wiv a pair of Pittas on me feet....thort they didnt feel like me Peppa Pig mules....

Now for me major trorma...I can hardly walk...there is no way I can do till 1 today...I karnt even sit down...as yer mite know I had a flare up of me down belows the other day....usually a pot of Onken natchral yogert duz the trick....I'd run out.......so fumblin in me fridge I found wat i thort was yogert....I was worried it mite be a Strawberry ski....that was a big mistake last time...I was pickin pips out me hoop for weeks....anyways....I agress....i popped wat i thort was anuther yogert up there an went for a nice hot bath..........biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig mistake......it was Condensed milk I'd popped up......the hot bath caramelised me Mary......it smells like a choklit eeklair down there.....bin tryin to melt it wiv me hairdryer......I'm waitin for NHS direct to call me back......heres the kulprit.....I'll keep yerz posted...

Before I go i av to tell yer about a fab muzikal I went to see at the Epstein theatre...Its called Heart & Soul an you just have to see it if it tours......a mega talented cast an me lovely mate Claire Simonsen...i was blown away by the muzik an voices....here's the link...check out the website an follow them on Twitter for more info.....

http://www.epsteinliverpool.co.uk/heart-and-soul-a-new-musical/

Follow them on Twitter

https://twitter.com/HeartSoulLpool

Rite I must dash....I can feel me hoop startin to soften up....gotta try n get this Conny Onny out me Nonny....laterz.... xxxx

Wheely bizzy weeks...

OMG....I karnt beleev I've got a new set of wheels....as yer can see from the picktchur I was shocked....the wonderful John Bird and Michelle Evans from Bell Mobility in Wallasey Wirral handed me the keys to me new Bevmobile.....no more 'borrowin' me naybors when she has a nana nap.....it even ended up in the local paper!!! A big thank you to them for being so generous...not only will it be used at me gigs but my charity fundraiser in August joining Dave Holmes on his Johnny Groats to Landsend bike ride for the Katy Holmes Trust.....no, don't be daft...me battery wouldn't last that long...but I'm doin the Lancashire leg on me new Bevmobile.....Here's a couple more photos...

There's me wavin goodbye to Michelle before nockin some ald get into the gutter...she was alright....Michelles got her cyclin profishancy certifikayte so she looked after her....here's me livin life in the fast lane........

No stoppin me now...anyways....bin mad bizzy at work too...gettin new stock in all the time ready for the spring...I'll keep yer posted on them new things wen thay come in...Just bin watchin all this hype over the new pope or Pope Idol as I call it....I see Franny won it...did you see the Judges House.....friggin ell....all that smoke mustve bin awful with all that white in the Vattycan....they reckon theres 50 preests all sat under the chiminee with 800 Lambert n Butler from Duty Free puffin away an blowin it up the chiminee till thay get the new pope....I've heard The Winners song will be on our shelves soon....here's a glimpse....

Went to a crackin party last Fridee...it was secksy Paul Rolys 30th...I woz hopin to kop off wiv him but his bird wouldn't take her real eye off me...gettin evils all nite...here's me n Paul's mum Ange an his Anty Liz with the limp....tragic story....she has a varooka on her bunyon...in operable...she can only go out in moon boots....don't like to menshon it tho.....we look like Charlies Angels...or the Northern Birkenhead vershon....Bob's Birds!.....

Another lovely girl there was Clur....sheez garjus....between you n me she models herself on me...sheez married to the rugby hunk Chris Twice Nightly Whitely....we hav histree but don't talk about it.... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzip....if yer get me drift....

An here's the men....as yousual I'm like a magnet...like flies round me klunge thay woz....thay said it was like liftin a fether.....nearly shot me love egg out tho when thay pulled me legs apart.....

Rite...must dash...just put a wash in...I'm on earlies tmoz...Till 1 is callin me...got a new woman started...Barbara Benson n Hedges....her self tan is Benson Brown she smells like an ash tray...I'll sort out some pics....catch yerz later.................take a look at Bell Mobility website..... xxxxxxxxx

www.bellmobility.co.uk