Welcome Baby Leave Windsor...

 Well weev wayted ages for the arrival but at last we have a new Royal Baby.....Baby Leave Windsor.....sounds a bit odd but yer now how with it the new breed of royals are....I got a shock wen it flashed up on the telly at work the picture of Duchess and Baby Leave.....it'll grow on me I gess.....I reckon she had it easy.....i'm gonn av one of them berthin pools if I ever have a baby Macca.....I'm gonna get a Peppa Pig one.....Can't stop coz I'm up to me eyes in it at werk.....I'm on Feminin Hi Jean again......If I hear one more person moan that it's not well sign posted I'll scream.....I swear I'm gonna put a pickchur up of a big 20 foot fanny to show where Feminin Hi Jean is......Before I sign off from this Speshal Royal Entry in me diary please spare a moment for HRH the Queen of Ingland Elizabeth Duke Windsor.....rumour has it sheez bin up all night wiv baby Leave....Will has been helpin Kate get comfy on a blow up ring.....apparentlee she needed a cuple of stitches an her hoop is on fire.......Catch yerz later....here she is....please be standing for

Her Majistee the Kween of Ingland

Laterz

 Bev

XXXX

Zip Me Up Before You Go Go...

Thort yerz mite all like to av a read of the lyrics to me soon to be released single

'Zip Me Up Before You Go Go'

I bet yerz can't listen to the song ever agen wivout hearing these lyrics.

Enjoy!

 

JITTERBUG

 JITTERBUG

I’ll be your groom groom you tasty tart.
You send my soul sky high with your fanny farts.
Jitterbug into my brain,
I’m gonna bang bang bang you till you go insane.
But somethings buggin me, something ain’t right
My best friend told me that you were quite tight.
Left me sleeping in my bed,
Was I dreaming or did you really give me head.

Zip me up before you go go,
Don’t leave it hangin down like a yoyo.
Zip me up before you go go,
I won’t miss and jizz in your eye.
Zip me up before you go go,
I don’t like jackin off doin solo.
Zip me up before you go go,
Make your fanny feel tight.
Make your fanny feel tiiiiiiiiight!

You feed on prawn rings most of the day,
You’re so camp as a man you would be a gay.
In Aldi car park I made you lame,
You were so dry my meat’s never been the same.
Cause you’re no lady, you make me drool,
Makes me crazy you prick tease it’s cruel.
Come on Bevlar make it tight
Your pelvic floor makes everything feel so right.

Zip me up before you go go,
Don’t leave it hangin down like a yoyo.
Zip me up before you go go,
I won’t miss and jizz in your eye.
Zip me up before you go go,
I don’t like jackin off doin solo.
Zip me up before you go go,
Make your fanny feel tight.
Make your fanny feel tiiiiiiiiight!

(C) 2013 Beverly Macca

Satdee nite telly...

Morrrrnin...right...I'm avin me own poynts of view....WTF is goin on wiv Satdee nite telly..... 'Your Face Sounds Like My Arse Looks Like Stars In Their Eyes'.....All I can say is roll on X Factor!!! Forget Judges houses.....my favrit bit is 'Sob Stories' things like ' 'My sister is a pregnant teenage dwarf wiv a tumour on her bunyon'.....and this classic -

Rant over....just a ikkle quicky diary entree...I'm off to werk now for a quick shift...this hot wether has given me that illness sleep apneea....I karnt keep me eyes open on me till....have a great time in the sunshine....remember yer facktor fifty too....laterz.... Bev xxxx

**STOP PRESS**

Another Evening With Bev Coming In Oct

'Prawn Ring N Bling'

All Proceeds to Katy Holmes Trust

Summertime and the Bevlar is easy....

Before I begin can I wish Nelson Mandela a ded happy birthday....great to hear he is doin well in hospikal too....I hope he carries on doin well.....the nicest thing is to see how his ex wife Winnie Mandela has been by his bedside.....there is still a real closeness with them two....after all them years how cudnt there be....imagine all them years wakin up to Winnie's smilin face every day....

Get me bein all topikal in the news stories....some say I cant follow the plot of Peppa Pig....well yerz rong there.....stayin wiv the news I'm glad to see that nasty man Abra Kadabra sent back to be tried....I don't do anything to do with nastiness or horriblness....so good riddanse I say....they even rote a song about him didnt they....i'm too young to remember but youz mite...it goes...

 

Can you beleev that cheeky mare Beeyonsay had a go at one of her fans at a gig coz they were fillumin her....at the price she charges I'd expect alot more....if she'd ad a go at me I'd av said - '
'Keep shakin yer fat arse n singin. I've paid a fortchoon 2 c u Jabba'..........she shud get back to Jenny Craig....

Well we've had Pippa Tips now we have Fern Tips....me lovely laydee Fernus Brittunus has been offerin tips on makin mint jelly....she also came up wiv a grate way of strainin stuff....thru yer tites....hope she duznt turn all Kirsty Allslop on me an go posh an make decorayshons that cost a bleedin arm n a leg......Here's Ferns Tip - 

Well the heat is on.........talkin tites I'm poppin mine in the freezer a la Pippa Tip 638 - 'Pop your tites in the freezer overnight to ensure a cool hoop.....remember freezers are very cold' Right....That's me done for now....I feel like Loosy Meekock readin the news....catch yerz all very soon.....I'll leave yerz wiv a pic of me n me boyz at an Evening With Bev Bikini N Brini....

And here's Casa Macca too Hope you can come soon...another evenin with in October....be there...

Oh....one more thing...forget Pippa Tips..... Bev tip - never let yer man leave the house like this....he'll look a right Twunt...................................Laterz....Luv yerz..... xxxx