I'm new to all this tekno stuff. but sum peeple av asked to read me diary so here it is...I'm an eezy goin gerl...simple tastes...like nites in with Lambrini...nites out with Lambrini...work at Pound Paradise...drive me Cunto (Corsa/Punto cut n shut)...love me gays..
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Well it's here again...Merry Christmas to you lovely peeps...Thanks for all yer support over the year..hope to put a smile on yer faces through 2015 too...Have a wonderful time with family and friends...spare a thought for those who find this time of year difficult for many reasons. As always, look out for and after each other.
It's beginin to look a lot like Christmas - everywhere I go.......yep it's that time of year again! Scannin yer arses on the works printer, snoggin some bloke from IT or Accounts if yer lucky...It's Christmas! I've been a busy bee too...it's the season of Prawn Rings and Lambrini at Casa Macca - The breakfast show at Wirral Radio takes up some of me time, and what a week this week, we gave away Christmas to a lovely lady - she kopped the lot from a fully turkey dinner to a 40' telly and much much more.....great to see it all go to a deserving family....here's me and Santa before he emptied his sack all over me Timmy Shoos....plus me and the Breakfast show team from Wirral Radio 92.1FM...
Well another trip to London was organised to have some meetings....got the Virgin Pedallo down and stayed in one of them cheap hotels with Komplimentree kettles, kertains, towels n tellys....I was more worried about wakin up next to Lenny Henry to be honest....
Luckily he wasn't there when I woke up...managed to get a new kettle an towels tho...
Well after a chomp on some sweet n sour balls an a box of Lambrini it was time to get up and head to ITV towers for a bizzy day...started off the day with the garjus team at Good Morning Britain....me fanny nearly bit me leg off when I was taken onto the studio floor and there was Ben Shepherd....I could smell his Joop from the green room...I nipped to the loo to powder me nose and when I got back me head gay had gegged in and had his photo with them and they'd legged it off to a meeting....Mind you I wouldn't want to show up Charlotte wiv me natchural bewty...here's me head gay wiv the GMB team....
It didn't stop there...I was then whisked down to lovely Lorraine's livin room at Casa Macca - never seen so many sofas, I reckon they must've made the DFS sale before it finished....looks dead posh....but again I went and powdered me nose and head gay gegged in again....Lorraine had to be at Bet Fred's for 9.30am....so I missed out again...
It was a long old day - and I was knackered...got back to the hotel...still no sign of Lenny Henry...put me feet up and watched some reality telly...
That was that...as the train pulled out of the station for home I remembered one thing....or one thong...I'd popped it to dry after Good Morning Britain and seeing Ben Shepherd...I was dreaming he would take me to me Tipping Point via Dropzone 1....Goodbye London till next time....
Well I'm about to do me Queen of Hearts Christmas message...but until that comes out, here's last years....
Me werld has been turned upside down...As the famus song from Love Story goes... 'Where do I begin'..... my lovely Satdee night with me boyz from Wirral Radio Breakfast Show John and Neil had said they weren't going to a show at the Floral Pavillion....I believed them....for some strange reason after a few 5 liter boxes of Lambrini I got a sudden urge to go....The Floral Pavillion was pullin me towards it.....what was it?........ I arrived at the front door to be told 'Full House Mrs' I kwikly corrected the failed policeman with 'It's Mz'.... I remembered a late night dallyonce once with Wally Scott at the stage door after enjoying his and Billy's Plumbs....that's another story....so I headed there....darkness.....I remembered an old trick that had worked for many famus folk....the back door code.....An SOS code banged out on your back door.......it worked.....but who opened the door..... John & Neil.... I was hurt....they had lied...they had been coming all the time........they won me over with a pint of Crem De Menth and a Malibu chaser.....that was when my life changed forever................
Mummy V as I always called her.....Stalker as she called me affekshonatlee hadn't aknowlidged me for many years.....I know how painful it was for her to give me away so I've never held a grudge.....but I always dreamt one day with the help of Davina Macall and Nicky Campbell I'd get that gentle tap on me back door......NEVER did I expect last nites shockin rellyvayshon......You see as well as Glue ear I've always had dodgy eyes....but I had a cheap laser op years ago which didn't go to plan....too painful to tell the story..... Let's just say 'Stan 'I'll Help You Seymour' is now doin time after helpin unsuspectin victims see a lot more......I agress....... Mummy V (or so I thought) came to me in a piece of toast one day......but last night has begged me to question that...........I can't carry on.....you can hear it for yourselfs......I was stood close to where Crissy Rock was being interviewed for BBC Songs Of Praise when my phone picked up on this shocking video......make your own mind up as Bucks Fizz sang.....Who is my mummy???? Signin off....a devastaytid Beverly Macca CBA. XXXX
Well whood of thort it...Beverly Macca broadcasting from outside for Wirral Radio...or as thay say in the 'Biz' an OB...get me...I was like a poor mans Kate Adie...I was wiv me boss John Storey CEO...so it was CEO n CBA live from Liverpool Pride 2014 - What a day it was...weather was a bit shite with the rain but I chanted an old nursery rhyme old Nana Macca used to say to me while bouncing me on her knee I've never forgotten it...it went -
'Rain Rain.......Shit Off'
Happy memories of a lovely Nana...she tort me so much...
I woz a bit worried wearin acksess all areas round me neck...that could've opened a hole can of worms, luckily nobody took advantage of my areas...although everyone is fasinayted with me ring...I took a bit of a funny turn in the VIP sweet...thay call it a Vazo Vaygul attack...I nearly fainted...I was comin round slowly when I felt someone fiddlin with me blowse...I opened me eyes slowly...sweet baby yazu me fanny nearly bit me leg off...it woz only Mr Heart Throb himself sex on legs Dr Tresslor from Holby City...course I stopped breathin long enuff for him put the lips on me with mowth to mowth...next thing I know I'm gaggin on his bazooka... he'd forgotten to take his chewy out...it was nothin a glass of komplimentree shampayne couldn't cure...He asked if he could have a pic with me, least I could do after he saved me life...
Me boss John Storey bein the unsympathetic sod he is had me out by the beast broadcastin before you could say CPR...it was a bit mixed on the weather front...I was moist most of the day...I've never seen so many lovely gays in one place...but best of all everyone looked dead happy and you could sense the love on the day...just how it should be...Here's me N John doin our OB or Outside Brordcast to those not in the Biz...
There were some Slebs there too...The lovely Pink Princess Claire Simmo from Radio City was there...as was garjus Leanne...I was a little concerned about local DJ Pete Price...age hasn't bin too kind...I think he's gettin confused in old age...he was seen wanderin around the VIP sweet sayin 'Do You Know Who I Am' Hope he found out before he left...Here's me n Samantha Fox
I met her in the laydees...I was in the cubicle next to her when I heard 'Touch Me Touch Me I Wanna Feel Your Body Next To Mine' I shouted back 'I'm not bein funny love but I'm a slave to the cock' She laughed...turns out she was practising her set for the stage...she walks out of the VIP loo and in walks Heather Small...she wasn't happy with me coz I thort she was Trisha Goddard off the telly...I asked her for her autograph and she screamed back at me 'Why should I...WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME TO MAKE ME FEEL PROUD' I said, Calm Down love...which she did...I got to tell her all about me and the new Wirral Radio, an me doin the breakfast show...then she screams at me again.... 'YOU'RE MOVIN ON UP' I gave up in the end...have to say she woz bloody good singin...here's me wiv Hevva in the background givin it loads...
Well after a long day brordcastin me n John took ourselfs off to the VIP Sweet...we had shampayne an canapees...they were tiny...I just took the plate when they were offered...the hostess looked mortified...I just said I was eatin for 2...that shut her up...I ended up nippin on the Isle Of Man Seacat for a quick wee...next thing it was pullin out of the dock...met a lovely bloke who let me stay at his house an he took me up the Laxy Wheel...got back in time for the breakfast show...here's me n John on root to the VIP sweet...
Big thanks and well done to everyone who made the day such a success...looking forward to next years Liverpool Pride...maybe we could sort out a Wirral Pride...this lovely laydee made it all happen...well done!
Well it's bin 6 weeks now since we went live on hair to the Wirral and beyond....Wirral Radio 92.1FM...and it's been a great few weeks! Lovin my boyz aka the Toxic Twins John & Neil - they have me demented at cock o clock in the morning...We are all titled now too Me wiv me CBA, John is CEO - and latest to get a title was Neil Newton OBE - Oringey Brown Everyday!! He likes his slap duz our Nella - his desk is like a Superdrug shop!! Kouros, Paco Rabanne....you name it he wears it...Midweek Macca is now established and I've been touched.....several times.....overwhelmed by the lovely 'Slebs' who have come forward - Sherrie Hewson, Lorraine Kelly, Kate Robbins, Ross King in LA, Corrie's Wendi Peters and more...coming soon Ruth Langsford, Denise Welch, Kerry Katona and Corrie's Charlie Condou....How many more names can I drop.....ded ded chuffed and grateful to them all....must menshon a ikkle luv interest that has blossumd since bein at Wirral Radio.... Eye Candy Kenyon....he duz the news n sport...like a cross between Reggie Bosunkay n Dickie Davies...his ferrymoans drive me crazy...there's an attrackshun but he's fightin in....I'll keep you posted...here we are on a sort of first date.... Beverly Macca Kenyon has a ring to it....
Well it's bin all go on The Wirral....we've only had the Open Championship 2014....it's bin murder....tryin to drive to work everyday in that traffic...me Cunto kept overheatin (Corsa/Punto cut n shut).....I had a likkle dally yonse with a lovely Amerikan called Frank...or FRANK.....why do them yanks all shout....we were avin a bit of afternoon delite in the bunker by the 12th hole and off he went....he liked to talk dirty to me durin intimasees... 'FOUR YOU WHORE...FOUR FOUR FOUR.....' Funny that was the amout of seconds he lasted...4 second Frank.....got a bit carried away one day and me intimayte wear was flung over the signage....Tiger Woods was overheard on the phone to Rory sayin 'just turn right at the bra n panties'...
Well me dream came true thanks to me garjus Adam Siddorn...he took me up the Snowdrop the other Satdee...Snowdrop bein one of the famus Ferries Across The Mersey...I'd always wanted to be Kate Winseyette for the day and re enact that famus scene...Adam was my Jack....the do was for Bernie Bucket, a lovely, inspirational and very brave lady who is battling Cancer... She has raised close to £140,000 for Cancer Research UK and still she carries on...that lady is amazing and I'm chuffed and honoured to have met her...here's me and Bernie havin a ball on the Booze Cruise....
Coming soon is the Liverpool Pride 2014....me n Adam are going along to see what it's all about...why not come along too? Just before I go the lovely Fern Britton is recording a new series of 'Big Allotment Challenge' the first series was like 'Carry On Up The Allotment' I'm doin a kammeo judging the plumbs....Fern's not happy, we've got to share a WinnyBaygo....she's rank...I'll be teachin her a few tips on personal Hi Jean....Here's our pad...terrible whiff of Floral Foam....usually after a visit from Phil Vickery....I'm given a tenner an me bus fare to Weatherspoons....
Right...must dash...me supervisor Fat Sue with the Smart Car is givin me evils....she's still not slimmed into that car yet!!! There's a kew at me till.....catch yerz later....
Well just over a week to go until we say 'Goodbye 7Waves' and 'Good Morning Wirral Radio' mixed emowshons...7Waves have been a great frend and given me opporchoonitys...Wirral Radio are doin the same and I'm ded grateful and want to share in their sucksess...As you know I've worked with the lovely Adam Siddorn on his show doin me showbiz news n Sleb interviews...Wirral Radio have taken a bold step and given me a slot on the new Wirral Radio Breakfast Show - can you imagine....Breakfast time will never be the same again....John Storey, Neil (Nella) Newton and me The Bevlar..... Snatch, Cackle N Pop - you can decide who's who....How am I gonna cope with them early mornings? I wake up with sticky stuff in me eyes from the night before as it is....and they want me on the road in the Wirral Rover...I'll be on a street corner near you before you can say Prawn Ring...and with a youneek game for you to play...
Slite dilemma....do I rinse me tites n leggings the night before or on the morning of the show? That way I can blow dry them while dryin me hoop....lovely Lorraine Kelly just tweeted some advice as did Aled Jones....2 people who I'll be chattin to on Midweek Macca - more about that later....we've got some great guests lines up including legend Sherrie Hewson, Wendi Peters (Cilla from Corrie) and talking soaps the queen of soaps from ITV's This Morning Sharon Marshall...plus another link up to Hollywood to chat to Good Morning Britain's Ross King...lots more to come....so choon yer dials to 92.1FM or listen online on the new logsite
And best of all you can get us on DAB!!! How posh is that...you knew me when I only had an outside shitter...So you don't need to be on the Wirral to choon in....I'll leave you with a pic of me and me boyz...this is me doin Traffic N Travel a la Bev....it's gonna be fun....tell yer mates and get choonin in from 16th June at 8am... We Are Wirral.... See you there.
Well well well....whood have thort it....there's me worryin wen me bikini line reaches me knees an then out pops Conchita!! Didn't she do well....and we were shocked when Bucks Fizz ripped the skirts off Cheryl Baker n Jay Ashtray....here we are a few years on an the bearded laydee won!! I'll not be so fussy now wiv me intimayte down below shaving....I hear Russher are fewmin....Pewtin an his cronies are kickin off....I reckon it's all for show....CCTV shows different at the Rushen Conchita Fan Club...Look -
And it's all kickin off here with Lord Sir Gary of the Barlow...they all want him to give back his OBCBMBE - why? Coz he's dun sumthink with his taxes....korse it all backfires on me then...someone snitched me up for not payin VAT on a bottle of Lambrini in 1989!! So the paps came for me demandin I give back me CBA - they can Shit Off!! Look...I'm being persik..pursak...hownded by the piparatzi.....
Right...I must dash...I'm back on Till 1....me supervisor Fat Sue with the Smart Car is on me back...Just finishin off me Pot Noodle juice....catch yerz later. Bev XX
No...don't get too ecksited....it's not the group....It's the other JLS - Jose Luis Sanchez....he's me mate from werk....me SGBF Spanish Gay Best Friend....can't understand a word he says half the time but I do love or as he would say 'Lob' him.....I got him to do a ikkle video to introduce himself.....if any of you have connekshons at QVC let me know....it's his dream to escape from Pound Paradise and get in front of the kamra......Laydees N Gentlemen I give you J L S -
Followin on from JLS's first video he's done another...he wanted to say 'Grathyarse' for the lovely comments. So here is JLS 2 - The Revenge!
Who says the British aren't adventurus?? Rio has the amazin an colourful Carnival - months of preperayshun, costume making and korryograffy....Australia has the wonderful Mardi Gras - where again preps start way in advance and the event is filled with colour, fun and excitement....then her in Britain we have - 'Pancake Tuesday' preps start about 20 minits before the event (batter making) then we become a nation of tossers!!!! Ah well....it's tradishon isn't it....Hope you enjoyed tossing your batter and had a great 'Pancake Tuesday'....
Well I'm typin this with the sun shining through my back door....warm and welcoming.... (the sun not my back door) and Sunday I nipped over the naybors wall to get some fresh daffodils to take to nosey neighbourhood watch couple as they cooked me a nice roast....you can see from this picture spring is busting out all over!!! Now talking about my Sunday roast at nosey neighbourhood watch mans house....it started as it usually does....me washin me bedroom window in me bra n panties....he's over like a shot.... 'fancy a roast Bev' well I'm not one to turn down a free roast! Thank god for her katteracts and dodgy hearing....I'm not in there 5 minits and he's off....the lamb isn't the only bone in their house when I'm there...Look, and poor Lillian is oblivyus to it.....
Anyways, Lillian nips out to start dinner and he 'starts' asking me if I enjoy his meat on a Sunday....how he loves it when the lamb juice runs down me kleevidge....then like a bolt out the blue Lillian shouts from the kitchen - 'Bev, do you like your breasts rolled and stuffed? Frank does and did mine this morning, hang on I'll show you' I nearly shat a love egg.....me mind boggled....then she walked in with 2 breasts of lamb Frank had prepared earlier.....
Well all that fuss over the Oskars....I can't be arsed with them meself....I'm happy with me Pound Paradise award....but it's compulsive watchin....I like to see the frocks.....well did yer see the famus Selfie Ellen De Genitals took.....I felt sorry for poor Liza Minelli....she didn't know if she was in New York, New Jersey or New Delhi.....Here it is if you missed it....recognise anyone?
Talkin entertainment it was the final of dancing on ice this weekend....O..M..G..how garjus is Ray Quinn....I sooo would.....me fanny was biting me leg off thru me leggings....he deserved to win....I had a little flash back to me n Pip Schofield....a ikkle ree kuring dream I have from time to time.....a gerl can dream can't she.....Right, must dash....me Charlie needs airing and the sun is shining......enjoy this lovely weather....catch yerz later....
Iyaaaaaaaaaaa....how's you?....Sweet baby yazu me feet havent tutched the ground again this week....so much goin on.....firstly Pound Paradise news....we have ackwired a new magazine just launched... 'Thai'd To You' aimed at the 3 F's jenerayshon.... 'Fat, Fifty & Fleeceable' subskripshons gone thru the roof already.....many havin the inishals 'MP' after their names...dunno wat thats about....so look out for it....tell yer friends too...
Well whood hav thort it....Beverly Macca in So Ho in London....yep....I'm like a fully fledged Cockernee....another trip to London....this time a guest of the lovely Lindsey Cole...the bewtiful (natchurally not enhanced) fiyonsay of cute comedian Russell Kane.....I bet I'm not the only one to say Russell Kane took me up the Sanctum!!! I ad a crackin night....Lindsey was launchin her new Total Minks Lashes....ded excitin....I know she will do well....the place was heevin wiv slebritees....a lot of them from TOWIE - everyone wanted my ring on their finger.....so obvs I obliged....First off the rank was Mr Kane himself....he made a comment how snug my ring was on his finger....it made me blush....I became aroused...my one workin nipple shot out like a rivet.....I had to coax the non working nipple out with a strawberry Lickrish from Essex Candy Cart....
Cooled meself off with a Midori cocktail....not a bottle of Lambrini in site....then I got a strong wiff of Leather....then the vision in black appeared....the garjus and glamerus Lizzy Cundy stood before me....like a life size Chamois....before I know it she's only slipped my well polished ring on her pinky.....love that woman....makes me laff so much on Twitter....calm yerselfs fellas...
Came out and I woz blinded by the light as the famus song goes....Paps everywhere...they were houndin me....and I mean houndin me...... to get out the way..........they like to tease....
Ended the night in style....kebab from Mustaffa's and an hour on Blendr....before I know it I've got off and me alarm is buzzin....I was up the ITV Stewdios again....OMG....how miserable is everyone on the Choob....Look at this lot....I soooooooo wanted to jump up and do a bit of Pharrell...'Happay...come along and clap with me like a Tube without a smile'....
Went to see lovely Lorraine for a catch up after our interview.....she's no shame....she only had my frock on I'd lent her ages ago for the show that mornin.....more front than Harrods....but yer can't get angry with her....I was gettin ready for a photo with her on the famous sofa...nipped to the loo to offload last nights caterin....when I got back me head gay had only gegged in.....she'd nipped off for her morning offload so I missed out.....pretty in pink...
Kwick coffee in the Stewdio cafe at ITV before I'm whisked off to the This Morning stewdio for a visit....I've never seen so many peeple in one place with clipboards, radios attatched to their waists n skype headsets on with mics......must be a kwalifikayshon you need to work at ITV...as the double doors opened to Stewdio 8 where This Morning is fillumed I had flashbacks....I could hear the theem choon....smell the ferrymoans of male presenters gone by......Dicky Madeleys Old Spice...John Leslie's Joop....Eamonn Holmes's Jizz...and today it was Pip's Paco Rabanne.....with a hint of Holly's Charlie.....I was sent....It wasn't long before I was overpowered by the wiff of Kouros....yes it was Magic Mulhern....heez garjus....we'd only just greeted when he took me up the Hub....yet again....I nip to the laydees room and head gay gegs in and gets the picture....I was ragin....
Had a long lunch up the Mulberry Bush opposite the ITV towers with me lovely Leanne....2 and a half hours later I had to feed her into the lift back up to the 21st floor to face the wrath of Warn!.....next stop I'm up the West End....the lovely Kevin Kennedy who many will know and loved as Coronation Street's Curly Watts had very kindly left me a ticket for hit musical We Will Rock You - O...M...G....Amazing show....you MUST see it if you are in that London....what a way to end a perfect couple of days.....Big thanks to everyone who helped make those 2 days speshal.....inclewdin the lovely Gina Lyons -Sparkling rings you were a star and got mine gleaming!
Laterz.....Love Bev XXXX
Pee Ess - If you've not heard any of me LIVE interviews with Lorraine Kelly, Fern Briton and Ross King, here's the link - Enjoy!
Well would you adam n eve it as thay say in the South....January is nearly over - Happy New Year to youz all....hope it is a good one for you all...I've been rushed off me cankles as per - some great news regarding the Katy Holmes Trust too - we are organising the first ever North West Pride Awards in November 2015 it's going to be BIG - find out more on the website -
So....Slebritee Big Brother is back with a Bang - literally - Lee has certainly brort the words of Blue's famus song to life.... 'All Rise' and heez been risin at every opporchoonity wiv the gerls in the house....well not all of them....Linda had a lucky eskaype! Her and Jim Davidscum have been at it hammer n tongs....Ollie looks lost most of the time.....I karnt understand a word he says.....He's got more plumbs in his mouth than Katie Price has had!! That's sayin sumthin!! Talkin lookin lost - Lionel Blair....WTF! It wasn't until he left the house he realised he wasn't in the Jungle in I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! He was heard asking 'Where's Ant N Dec' Bless - I got me call from the team at Endemol....and before you know it I'm askin Lionel a question on eviction night! You can tell by this pic it wasn't yer usual kwezzie! Poor Rylan -
Spent some time in Londin this week....had a meeting with some lovely peeps at ITV....I woke up an opened me komplimentree kertins and if you look beyond Nelson Mandella house you can see the ITV towers.....I wondered if me lovely Leanne could see me n wave....av a look -
Managed to fill me bag wiv some komplimentree towels, lecky fire an a new doovay....sadly the komplimentree kertins were only a 60' drop.....bugger.....anyways that's me up to date....I got the Virjin Pedallo back to Liverpool an ad a few medisinul bevvies....perfect end to a perfect day......one thing I forgot to mention.....I was taken up the Groucho!!! Ded posh there....not a prawn ring or box of Lambrini in site....saw a couple of faces I recognised....Rusty Lee was in there signin a new contract with Avon....an Wincy Willis was pushin her new jumper range too.....Rite....catch yerz later.... Bev XXXX
