hole-la

hole - la. thats spanish for y'alright. im like a friggin local i am. were just sittin on the balcony wiv a large crem de menth an coke. twiggy is pickin the skin off me back wiv his teeth. im red rore i am an not just me sunburn. me vaj has flared up summit orful. wat wiv all the holiday sex an the heat. i had to stop wearin tights under me leggins after a cuple of days. i managed to lern a sentance the waiter tort me in spanish. tee enni creema para mi conyo. it means av yer got the onken for me fanny. daft cow in the kemist gave me friggin hair remover. im balled as a koot down there now an it set me minge alite. twiggy likes me shaven haven.

im so into the spanish food. weev been eatin local every day. just 5 mins from the hotel yer cudnt get more local than that. full inglish at wan e waneetas. luvly cuple but they dont speak a bit of inglish wich i think is a bit rude of them to be onest. mind you they now the important werds like red sorce an the bog. then we tend to av chops n chips for tea at la kween vic. agen its local. only on the next block. we were all incluwsive but we got banned coz they rekoned we were avin more than r fare share. cheeky forin gets.

i ad a bit of an insident wiv me sheets the other day. i thort id fallen asleep an dropped me la mumba nite cap. but twiggy said it stank of chops n black puddin. tried to wash em in the posh foot bath in the bathroom but didnt come out. rite id better go. im on pay as yer go an this internet will be costin me a fortune. ill catch yerz wen im back. ad ee os. ill ..........................................