just a normal ish week...

Well woz back to werk wiv a bang...as i sed im on a fazed return coz of me Canklelimpitis...doin an hour a day at Pound Paradise...as i sed by the time i faff wiv me uniform an av a natter i'm only in for about 30 minits...fat Sue wiv the smart car is ragin i can tell...i was bizzy this weekend in me garden...well i say garden it's a window box but it duznt arf take it out of me...i broke a nail too so i went sick for Monday...alot of yerz are askin me about Saturday nite...well i had a bit of a kwiet one...opened a few 5 liter boxes of me finest an went on me daytin site...the rest is a blur...woke up on the sunday mornin an i felt like Doris Day...i was tucked up under me Peppa Pig doovay...Tites intactus an me clothes were fowlded nicely...went to have a shower an heard a noise downstairs...well i turned into Sugar Ray an had to restle this out me living room...bleedin hoof marks on me laminayted floor...

I didnt ask any kwestions...nosey nayborhood watch was out washin his Mondayo...nearly swallowed his shammy when he saw me pushin Shergar and Fred West out me house...as i sed it was all a blur thank the baby yazu...then came Monday...

i made the painful and diffikult deesizion to not go into werk with me broken nail an feelin of knackerdness...so i booked meself into Sharm El Sharon's salon Tu Tan Cum In...she was advertisin her all new all singin an dancin fish peddycure...wat a load of ald shite...got there an she said 'sorry my new ekwipment has bin delayed'...next thing i've got me foot dippin into a bleedin babys potty full of a few skanky goldfish...it was crap...luckily i took me own booze...all was kwiet till last nite...I got a email from hed offis to say Pound Stretcher had annownced thay are openin in Doobi...thay went on to say they are moniterin it an may follow...as seenior promoshons person wud i consider goin over...i nearly shat a love egg...too rite i wud...but then i rememberd things like yer carnt eat bacon buttys an drink...an yer hav to cover yerself up...but i had one of them Ooobyas were yer cover yerself up...here i am in it...so that was me uneventful week to now...i'll leave yer wiv the vision of me in me Ooobya...laterz...