Summertime...an the thingy is easy...

Well well well...the sun haz got its hat on...cud this be summer...i'm sufferin alreddy...fownd an old bottle of Ambrare So Lare...mustv bin out of date...burnt me self to buggery...dunno why but i let Gay Gary pick the skin off me back...he loves doin that...i'm red rore now...but lovin the wether i woz sat outside the lifeboat stayshon last cuple of days flashin me baps to the boyz whov saved my bacon on more than one okayshon...i'm off today so i thort i'd giv yerz a kwick update wiv me life...werk is ok at the mo...Fat Sue wiv the smart car is layin off me coz i put in a greeveeanse...it's fab coz i can Twill (Tweet on me till) all shift an she carnt say a werd...I'm pushin the Vaj Butter at the mo...got a new campayn on me Far La comin up...I'll keep yerz posted...

As yer now me looky likey has bin dancin in Amerika...this had led to me bein playged by peeple shoutin Kath every were I go...its a curse i hav to live with...i do get a bit fed up coz sheed need to drop a bit of wayt before she cud pull off bein me...the kompetishon has finished now so hopefully i can get back to normal...even Ross King Tweeted me sayin he struggles to call her Kath in intervews...it comes out as Bev...easy mistake to make...

Time to sort out me summer wardrobe...thats wat the posh do innit...i just stop wearin tites under me leggins...means i have to use more Fabreeze tho...but me gays always say i keep the flys off the buffay...watever that means...must be one of them Youfenizms for summit norty!...talkin of bein norty me n stutterin Stu got it together at the weekend...made the mistake of askin him to talk dirty to me...big mistake...he waz still tryin to get it out come sunday mornin...

 Little plug before i go...me fitness DVD is still sellin well...drivin to werk in me Cunto (Corsa/Punto) the other day i nearly dropped me fone, pastie an can of coke...me produkshon company hav put posters up near work...carnt beleev it...talkin of me Cunto...i said i'd do a likkle advert for Mike and the Mechanic...he's got a Labia for sale (Lada/Skoda Fabia)...the Lada had one careful laydee owner...not sure about the histree on the Skoda...messige me if yer want more info...i'm also sellin me ASBOS too...the goverment is gettin rid so I think thay will be collecters items...i woz gonna take them onto Cash in yer Attick but I carnt stick that wonky jawed nob who presents it...I'll stick em on Ebay...rite...must dash...catch yerz later... xx