Winter blues...

Mornin all...another weekend flys by...karnt mowtivayt meself today...think I need a chat wiv the aguny ant off This Morning...Dennis Robertson...shes the one they spray mace in her eyes before she comes on to make her look sad...it's works...she as a face like a smacked arse most of the time...I'm alrite i think i've got the winter blues...or that SAD (Sod All Done) I just karnt be arsed...I treated meself with a tan and a hot stone massarge at Sharm El Sharon's salon Tu Tan Cum In wiv me vowchers from christmas...dunno why i bother...its all on the cheap as per...a tin of Cocoa powder an Aldi cookin oil wiv a stone from her back yard...ah well it was cheap an easy to park...

Anuther week another shift in Paradise...Pound Paradise not Blackpool Plezure beach...new product this week lornched... PnC pregnancy tests...just Pee n See...they are sellin like hot cakes...think this cold wether has had folk shaggin all week...more Koreean shite we're sellin...between you an me i dont think they work...I had a slash on one in me lunch an came back positive!...yeah rite...the ammakulayte konsepshon if i woz...

Well i karnt stop...gettin evils off me supervizor Fat Sue with the Smart car...sheez tryin to ban us havin our mobiles on the till...we've taken it up wiv the younion...I've said i'm Vodafone dependent an have to wear an alert bracelet...dunno if she'll buy it...i need it so i can 'Twill' tweet on me till...oh before I go...Pound Paradise have lornched a new Facebook page...as senior promoshons i have to look after it...i get an eckstra 5p an hour for doin it...here's the link...catch yerz later...xxxx

Pound Paradise Facebook Page

https://www.facebook.com/PoundParadise 

Bev's Bit On The Side...

Hiya...hope yerz all well...today is Blue Monday...a day wen were suppozed to feel ded ded low...i don't beleev it meself...bit like them stupid facebook statuses that say if you don't 'LIKE' or share all your kids will be dwarfs wiv verucas on their bunions...anyways...my Confidenshal (ish) helpline is back up n runnin and I've increased the time it is manned...so if you've got a problem then share it....yer can call or teckst  me number an if i'm not there leave a messige...i'll either text or ring yer back...

Hot off the press...I was rung by the garjus n secksy Jamie East on Celebrity Big Brothers Bit On The Side...a man I've admired from a far for ages...me fanny near bit me leg off wen i heard him on the other end of me trimfone...my little sekrit pleasure is to Feast on the East as I tell the girls at work...here's the video of me call...even tho thay spelld Wirral rong...

Well I tried to get to werk today an the pips were all over me like a rash...all coz of last nite on CBBBOTS! i now how Katherine Jenkins feels...I've asked Timmy the trolley from Tesco if he fancies bein me sekurity for a wile till it all dies down...back to CBB now...I'm ragin at them pair of Twunts Speidi...they are too nasty to be real people...catch yerz later...remember to vote to SAVE Tricia Penrose...thanks guys... Bev X 

SOS

 Support Our Scouser

Happy PJ day!.......

Yaaaaaaaay! Happy PJ day to you all...for those who don't know it's the lovely charity I'm part of Katy Holmes trust PJ day today...mixed emotions as it is 1 year tmrw since the beautiful Katy Holmes gained her wings and joined the angels...but there is so much good feeling and positvity today from all the wonderful people on Facebook and Twitter it's hard to feel down...Paula and Dave Holmes Katy's parents are amazing people and with the whole of team Katy are making a huge difference and contribution to brain tumour research....If you want to tweet a pic in your jarmies then do it....and if you tweet the pic to the lovely Russell Watson @russellthevoice you stand a chance of winning 2 tickets to see him in concert! Here's Russell supportin in his jarmies 

Well after all the antisi...antesip...antasip....waitin ages I finally got a few inches last nite...woke up covered in the white stuff...Love it...Only had Fat Sue with the smart car on the fone askin if I was comin in!!! Two words to her - Shit Off! Me Cunto was frozen this mornin (Corsa/Punto for those who don't know) so I came back in an shut up me shutters...Now I've got a serius post to post...it's regardin Pound Paradise products....I'm only postin it coz its for me secksy area Manager or as he says in his secksy Spainish voice 'Manayar' Here goes Please read carefully...

**URGENT PRODUCT RECALL**

'Le Sac - De - Cac'

Our French suppliers of Pound Paradise doggy poo bags have contacted us to say there has been issues regarding the strength of the sacs. You are asked to contact your local supplier or Pound Paradise store to claim a refund. There is also a product hotline you can call

07876 777932

**ENDS**

So there you have it...Le Sac - De - Cac are crap!...its coz thay keep buyin cheap forrin muck...by the way...they used my finger in the picktcher...hopin me agent will sort out some royaltees for that...still can't get the smell of Charlie's shite from under me nails...

Right, before I go it's eviction night tonite and my SOS Support Our Scouser is more important than ever...so here's the poster updated with numbers to SAVE Tricia...Thanks guys...catch yer later... Bev xxxx

    

**URGENT**

MANY STORIES AND APPEALS ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK REGARDING MISSING PETS

PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO GET YOUR PET MICRO CHIPPED!

I HAD MY CHARLIE DONE AN IT WAS PAINLESS

  

Heaven...I'm in (Planet) Heaven...

Agadoo....hope yerz all OK...I must start this entree in me diary on a serious note...as you know I am a sufferer of a very rare illness called 'Canklelimpitis' it is so rare it affeckts 1 in 1 people...ME!...I have learnt to live wiv it now...but to refresh yer memrees - Once a month not only do I get the dekorayters in but my ankles swell and I get a profownd limp...Canklelimpitis - whilst many young attraktiv wimin like me go about there bizness as normal every month I have the shame of peeple pointing sayin 'Look, Bev' on' given away by me limp and the moon boots...All I ask is you become Canklelimpitis Aware - Watch this short edukayshonal videeo on the illness -

Moving swiftly on as Phil n Holly say after a testickyoular egzaminayshon...life has been a bit hectic so far into this new year...Pound Paradise as busy as ever...but alas all is not smooth in Industryal relayshons...or me n me supervizor Fat Sue with the Smart car...she still hasn't slimmed into that!...it's her new year rezolewshon AGAIN!...She has tried again to ban mobile fones on me till...I'm avin non of it...its me basic human rite...I need to 'Twill' - Tweeting on my till...so in protest I'm refusin to speak to punters an read me magazeen instead while checkin them out...

Talkin about Magazeens...this week sees the re lornch of our in house Gossip n Celebrity magazeen 'Have A Rest Magazine' we offer a speshal offer on a years subskripshon...full of all things Sleb n Showbiz...Here's this months cover! Brad and Angelina speak out about adoptin all them kids...

Now for the ecksitin news of the week...as of yesterday 14th January 2013 I am now bein looked after n manniged by Donna Oulton head of Planet Heaven PR...ded ded ecksited...this lady has already made some great ground in sortin me out...not in a lezzer way but gettin me out there to see more of yerz an makin yer all laff...watch this space...so I'll leave you with me new Theem Choon.... Heaven...I'm in (Planet) heaven....all contact deetails below...right...me car is iced up...need to use me Rustie Lee cassette case to skratch it off...Laterz...

Any further information regarding

PA's or PR contact 

Donna Oulton

@

 http://www.planet-heaven-pr.co.uk/

Follow on Twitter

https://twitter.com/planetheavenpr

Find Donna on Facebook

 

https://www.facebook.com/planetheavenpr001?ref=ts&fref=ts


**BREAKING NEWS**

BEV SECURES HER FIRST ADVERTISING CONTRACT

...Big thanks to Ken Wong Wei at our local take away for the job..

Bev

XXXX

  

Sending out an SOS!...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMCZqKowlzM

 

SOS

Support Our Scouser 

Agadoo!....hope yerz all OK...yer proberblee wonderin wat all thats about...well if yer cast yer mind back to the last 2 Celebrity Big Brothers there have been a couple of lovely wimin I've always liked...and coz of that I've supported them...Denise Welch and Coleen Nolan...I'd like to think on both okayshons I've help them in some way...well now another friend is in the loveable Scouser Tricia Penrose...Please share this and SOS - Support Our Scouser!

OK...so me an Trish didn't get off on the best of terms wiv all them roomers about me n her dishy husband Mark Limpin Simpkin (he leaves the girls limpin)...we've put all that behind us now...and are offishally 'Bezzies'....Mmmm well until she knows I've moved in to Simpkin Towers and got me cankles well an truly under the table...even found her best Heartbeat slippers too! Shhhhh....

Anyways...all that aside...please join in and help us get Trish to the end and winner of CBB 2013! Here are some links for you to go and like and follow Thanks guys...

http://www.facebook.com/CelebrityBigBrother2013?ref=ts&fref=ts

https://twitter.com/TeamTPenrose 

As soon as we have a phone number to vote for Trish it will be here...

Thanks Guys!

Bev xxxx

 

 

Happy New Year!...

Happy New Year to you all...2013 is here...

So, what you all got planned? Any rezolooshons? I bet yerz will be worryin about yer wayt...I am a bit...i've put on a few ownses this Christmas...mite have crept up to a sneaky size 8! Don't tell anyone...If you have then I've got just the thing...me updayted 'Muffin Top n Cankle Workout' it now includes the popular ecksersize 'Lambrini Lifts'...Have a look - 

Well got lots planned this year...keepin up the fund raising and awareness of Katy Holmes Trust...don't forget me just giving page...I'm joining Katy's dad on the Lancs leg of the Johnny Groats to Lan send. Doin it on me mobility scooter...would do the whole thing but me battery wouldn't last that long!...Also got An Evening with Beverly Macca - The Revenge in February...I'll keep youz posted on how to get tickets etsetera...here's the details...

Well I'll keep it short n sweet as yerz prob all got hangovers...I know i av....got a hed like Birkenhead!...Just before I go...we have a new ecskistin product just in from Korea...Take care...Hope 2013 is happy and helthy for yerz and thank you all for yer support, follows and most importantlee...Friendship! Look out for and after everyone! Bev xxxx

**NEW PRODUCT FOR A NEW YEAR**

'Grab your Minge now before it's too late'