Pound Paradise found...

Well well well...i'm still on clowd ten...as most of yerz will now now i am offishally Pound Paradises top salesperson 2011...all for me servises to me Far La, Klunge, Fanny Floss and more resentlee Le J'aundice (pronownced Shon Dees its forrin)...wat a nite it waz...but wat a nitemare it started as...firstly me gays came round an we had a few boxes of wine...we had booked sykick Serena the sykick for a home reading...she turned up at 2...at first i thort she was shite...Craig wanted to know if he shud marry his Brazillian boyfrend...he says its long term...2 months! Duznt speak a werd of inglish apart from love you visa...then my readin waz that i would hav truble wiv transport and she cud see a shiny helmet or hed...well...next thing i now its nearly 6 i'm in me frock an reddy to go...6.20 no limo that Fat Sue wiv the smart car was supposed to hav ordered so i set off on me heels to get a bus...walkin up Pump lane an who comes along but Kevin Kawasaki...life saver...me nite in shinin armer... here's what happened - 

Anyways I get to the venew just as thay are closin the doors...quick fiddle wiv the bowncer an in i go...we are all called over to the press corner for fotos...just had mine done an i can hear Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell...that song by La Lu...turns rownd to see bleedin Tricia Penrose in my frock...i was ragin...next minit some geezer walks over an says Miss Penrose rekwests you take off your dress...i said Miss Penrose can work it up her...ive bin arownd Pound Paradise longer than her...i stormed off to get sum fizz...next thing i now sheez in a baggy jumper an a pair of leggins...nice as pie tho...we spoke in the carzy later coz she had the wild shites after Mark Simpkin her huzband had dun a balti wiv some out of date chickin...it was her management who said to take me frock off...bless her she even apologised on Facebook today...no hard feelins there...here's the pic - 

 I was so angry i rang me gays to tell them...thay were ded supportiv...here's me chattin wiv them -

Anyways it all goes well after that...had a ball...i waz up dancin wiv Ron Miel an his boyfrend to Macarayna...then we had a nice meal...too posh for me...i took Pound Paradise reddy noodles an got them to put some hot water on for me...then wen the time came I nearly died...thay gave the nominayshons then i didnt hear me name menshoned i was too twunted...i'd kicked me Timmy Shoos off coz me cankles were up like baloons...bugger to get back on to go an make me speech...then just like sinderella it was over...i ended up wakin up in an Eddie Stowbarts in Sandbatch...don't ask...the driver was a new one to me didnt speak a werd of inglish...managed to get home in time for me home communyon...rite...peppa pig doovay day...i'm drayned...lookin at me award as i tipe...thanks for all yer support...here's some more pics from the nite...an no I didn't get off with Mel the Mat Muncher from hed offise...we did hav a laff tho...sheez like a cock in a frock...laterz...