Valentine be mine...

well i hope yerv all got over me reported death at the weekend...i woz in shock...morners were still outside on monday...usin me candles to light there fags on...talk about disrespect for the dead...then it woz Valentines day...as yer can see me box was bulgin...sadly they wernt all cards...had a nice day but felt sick coz i ate 48 of our marsh mellow harts...still taste them now wen i burp...

well yerv tried me Far La...had me Klunge...Beverly Macca is now offishally the face of Le J'aundice (said Shon-dees its forin)...i knew last week but cudnt tell yerz...had to sign the doomsday secrets book...Pound Paradise said i've been a huge hit promotin me Klunge an me Far La plus...now heres a kompliment...i have the skin tone of the product...how nice is that...so today i've been at it...it's on offer at the mo too...get yerselvs down before it all goes...Make sure you are Le J'aundiced soon...

before I finish i have to pay tribewt to me lovely mate Tricia Penrose who looked garjus last night at the Pia Michi (Pie an Mash to some)...Trish has been around much longer than the not so natural Miss Amy Childs...also with a programme that ran for 18 years unlike Miss Childs cancelled show...all I can say is that I and many thousand of other wimin wud like to be able to get into that dress at 30 let alone 41 and look as natural as the lovely Tricia Penrose...