Balls vs Bone...

mornin all...just a ikkle bit bored on me till here at Pound Paradise...fat Sue wiv the smart car is givin me evils but sheez on a warnin for bullyin n harrismant so she darent tuch me...thort I'd fill yerz in on me Sunday roast...if yer remember I was gaggin for a bit of meat an two veg...one sure fire way of gettin an invite to nose nayborhood watches house is to clean me front window in me bra n pants...within 5 minits heez over askin me for a roast...his wife is lovely...sheez got Caterackts so misses alot of what is goin on...there was method in me madness this week coz me sekurity lite woz broked an i needed him to fix it...so i giv him a likkle show while i'm avin me lunch...Mrs NNW always gives me the bone...then it begins...i let the lamb fat drip down me cleevidge an heez praktically nockin the table over...even at his age...not only was me sekurity lite fixed but heed trimmed me bush kwicker than wink...(silent A)...

its a good job Mrs NNW is a bit deff as well az avin katarackts...it waz turnin into one of them Carry On Fillums...i nearly popped a love egg wen he asked me if I liked stuffin while he was handlin his meat...said i mite like his balls...then i saw these...poor Mrs NNW just grunts in the rite places...well it woz a lovely roast tea...i woz rapped up in me peppa pig doovay before you could say Lambrini...

I know alot of youz espeshally wimin will have herd of the book 50 Shades of Grey by now...most of yerz will hav had a flick in bed readin it...well talk abowt cowinsidense...I'd ritten a similar book ages ago called 50 Tones of Tan...grippin book abowt a womans struggle to find the rite shade of fake bake in these tuff times wen there are so many out there...theres lust lezbianizm an lazy lobs as she duz anythin to get that tone...hurry now wile stocks last...on the subject of books...an old flame of mine Dean Williams...founder of the Car Park fayshalls off the pay n display meeter has also ritten a book...now this is a good read...i woz ded priviligded to reed the first two chapters in its early stages...think he wanted me to korrekt the spellin to be onest...well it's out on the 21st June...it's in the top sellers already on pre order...you must get it...on a serious note it is touching, funny and tragic...but above all it's one persons REAL life...I'll leave you with this messige... xx

                                                            ~Good Luck Deano~