from spanx to ranx...

what a week ive ad... but more of that later... who designed these spanx.... I carnt afford the real thing but pat pong pete has got the copies in already.... RANX....great idea but not for laydees wiv water retenshon like me an me mum (vanessa feltz).... took me 3 hours to get into the fucker...then i cudnt stand up... i had to lassoo me tights round the leg of me peppa pig bed... hoisted meself up... woz goin red in the face an cudnt breeth....spilt half me crem de menth n coke....got up....... put me tites on then me new copy Harmarni leggins... lookin good... but then i tried to put me new friggin Timmy Shoos on...... no bastard chance... the Ranx has to send the fluid somewhere..... me friggin feet.... cudnt get the fuckers on... so i'm goin out in a pair of moon boots tonite..... look

 crap week tho... werkin most of it... no bleedin wi fi at home coz iron lung lill haz gone into a care home for a while... sum do gooder went in and turned everthin off.... but she came back today an i nicked some flowers from her front garden an did a hand made get well card for her to take in.... slipped into the livin room an turned on the wi fi..... rezult... off out now for a nite at feathers followed by Mustaffa's for a kebab n chips.... endin nite me thinks in the rice bar wiv me gays... one of me flaps has flared up agen so mite have to av a nite off intimacies... we'll see... keep yerz posted... av a good saturday... got me mighty wite bred n lambrusco for me home made communyon tmrow.... laterz....