dont ask

in the werds of that song. oh wat a nite. stutterin stu is back from afganistan and was gaggin for it so i thort id take it easy and not be a slag. i now yer all sayin ow can she not be. well i wor nickers and eyeliner. we went to the siam palice for tea coz theyv got the all yer can eat buffet. cheeky twats asked me to stop gowin up after me 26th pass. im gonna su them under that trayde askripshon coz it says all yer can eat and i cudv et alot mor. itd be like me at werk in powndland and at the chek owt say - no soz sir thats aktually £1.50 yer get me drift dontcha - fukin get me dontcha... i sownd like a pussy cat doll.

anyway i agress as the posh wons say. ad a crakin nite at the fethers and e woz so on for it. ad a bit of forplay in the smokers garden or as the new owner calls it la 'hardin de foomar'. come back from spain and full of it. it woz more like la hardon de spewmar coz every1 woz at it owt there and it stank of spew. well got back to myne and cracked open a bottle of bubbly 3 litre dimond wite. and off we gowz. jezus e woz tuchin evry spot last nite, even that one on me back that i carnt reech to berst. i put on me fave cd wet wet wet....that always helps to make me fanny go drip drip drip. now eez got a foot fetish so i always giv im a few minits down there. well eez not down there long an e goes ded kwiet. not a word good job i put the lite on eez only chowkin on me false nail off me athleets foot. then e goes and spews up the buffet over me new roll on. id lost it by then finished meself of and pored im into a taksi.  still carnt find me nail tho.

just back from cherch theres a new laydee vicar there and i rekon sheez a bit of a lezzer coz she gave me ekstra bred and wine this mornin. happy days.