wanna sniff me Far La

well hoowd hav thort it. they woz kewin owt the doors today to sniff bevs far la. me manager woz ded impressed and i kopd a cuple of new blokes chekin me owt to. there woz yer usuwal mevs hoo were bein ded rude and wen i sed thay cud smell me far la thay stuck there heds up me skirt. cudnt see much coz ad me leggins on. the local payper came an took me pikture too so ill show yerz wen i get it. talkin abowt me leggins i got a bad itch in me down belows today. i ad to take me tites off from under me leggins.

so its good friday tmoz. wots good abowt it coz ive gotta werk and im not happy. im off for the weekend tho and weve got a good un planned. feathers is avin a royal karry owki nite saturday. think dave is hostin it so i dare say miss slapped arse fayse will be there. ill let yer now wat shes bin up to. i started slimmin werld agen i saw cheryl there. shes dun ded well an lost about 2lb this year. hope i can do it. just find there resipees shite. i did one of me powems abowt it hope yer like it. just goin to the loo an av a good skratch down there. laterz.

Bev's ode to Slimming World:

Bev's been dietin for quite a while,
coz as you know she'd stacked on a pile.
Up a few dress sizes I did go,
I'll be Marisota outsize before yer know.

I'm doin the popular slimmin world,
me size 26 I hope to have hurled.
I count all me points an save me sins,
for wild weekends and a good few gins.

How can yer get excited about salady bits,
all this greenery is gettin on me tits.
I'd kill for a fry up for a bacon butty I'd beg, 
instead it's an omelette, grated cheese out me ped egg.


The recipes I'm findin hard to follow,
a boiled flip flop is hard to swallow.
I'm hopin it won't all be in vain,
an busty Bev can pull again.